Page 51 of Come Back To Me

“Don’t hide from me,” he said. “I love your body.”

My knees fell to the side, and the thought of him looking at my sex so openly made me blush furiously. I squeezed my eyes closed, and held my breath in anticipation of what he was going to do. I was strung so tight that when his breath hit the lips of my sex, I whimpered. Because I was too curious for my own good, I opened my eyes, and watched him. Our eyes met just as his tongue snuck out, and licked. Oh God. My breathing stuttered, but when he eased his tongue over me again, I was too intrigued and aroused to do anything but watch. He lifted his head, blew over my sex, and then eased a finger inside me. I bit my lip, hard, and sniffled a moan. It felt so good, and so foreign at the same time, a delicious collision of feelings.

I waited for him to tell me how tight I was, and even prepared myself for how embarrassing that would be, but he found a spot, and curled his finger up.

Air whooshed out of my mouth. Staying quiet was proving to be quite the challenge.

“Please.” I was begging, but it didn’t sound like me. My voice was breathy.

I was a virgin, but I knew the feeling stirring low in my belly was an impending orgasm. And God, I wanted it. So fucking bad.

A second finger entered me, and he started moving his hand faster. I was close, and he knew it. He lowered his mouth, and sought out my clit before sucking it into my mouth. My body writhed, and my grip tightened on the pillow until it hurt.

“Yes,” I moaned. “God, please, yes…” I was mumbling like a blithering idiot, and then my back was arching, and I was shaking while my body crashed. I’d barely caught my breath when I felt him hovering over me. I opened my eyes, my chest heaving still, and his eyes collided with mine. His lips glistened, and again, I was too curious to stop myself from moving up to my elbows to kiss him. To taste myself on his lips, to taste what he tasted. He deepened the kiss, and I savored it. He moved, reaching over for the condom, and he hesitated before ripping it open. I was under no disillusion about what to expect for my first time, Maddy had made sure I knew it wasn’t going to be spectacular.But I no longer cared. Not really.

I nodded, and watched with rapture as he rolled the condom onto his cock. I didn’t think he could get harder, but he was. At first I was anxious, because he wasn’t small, but when he looked at me, I gave myself over to him in every way possible. I laid back down, cradled him between my legs, and inhaled when the head of his cock rubbed over my clit. My hands shook when I held onto his forearms, and when he started pushing into me, I tried to relax. He slid in, and I winced. He moved slowly, pushing in and then withdrawing, easing into my body. On a deeper thrust I felt the burn, and the stretching, and when a tear slid down my temple, he kissed it away, and waited until I’d adjusted. It was painful, I wasn’t going to lie, but beneath the discomfort was a fullness that I started craving.

“I’m okay,” I told him, digging my nails into his skin. He withdrew, and then seated himself so deep, I cried out. He kissed my face, brushing the tears away with his lips, and stayed still. I clung to him, feeling his heart racing as wildly as mine did.

The weight of him on me, the fullness of him inside me, it was too much, but not enough. I needed him to move. As if reading my mind, he brushed his mouth over mine and started moving, thrusting his hips slowly, gently, until it was driving me crazy. The pain hadn’t subsided altogether, but the last thing I wanted was to be treated with kid-gloves when it came to sex. We’d been dancing around this for weeks, and now we were finally here and he was holding back. My hands slid up his chest, and I held his neck while I started moving my hips. I matched his rhythm, but then urged him to thrust harder.

“Just let go,” I told him. “Please. Let me fall with you.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. We were a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs, and hot kisses, and when we were both close, I bit his shoulder, sending us both over the edge. I shook with another orgasm, but what had me in awe was the way his body shook. I looked down, and if thought seeing him come was sexy, I was wrong. Watching him slide his cock in and out of me was way sexier and I didn’t even feel embarrassed about watching it.

“Fuck” I exhaled, still fixated on where we were joined. He chuckled, and then saw what I was looking at.

“We just did,” he replied, his mile crooked, his expression sated. He placed his mouth against my temple and I couldn’t help but wince when he pulled out.

“Shower?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can move.” And that wasn’t a joke.

“I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared into his bathroom, and then came back a minute later, still naked. I’m sure if I wasn’t sore I would have wanted to go again, but it would have to wait. He’d just popped my cherry, and while I felt closer to him than ever, I was still new to what happened after sex. Without saying anything, he pulled me to the edge of the bed, and lifted me into his arms. His expression was tender, and then his brows furrowed when he looked down at me.

He whispered something, but I couldn’t make it out. I thought he said, ‘Come back to me.’

The words faded from my mind, evaporating like mist. My body was hot. Alive. Like it had been touched by a live wire. My pen fell from my hand as if it had burned me. For the first time I wondered where the words had come from and when I considered the possibility that the man in my journal was real, I shook it off. He wasn’t real.

But what if he is?

WHEN I GOT back to my apartment after classes, I was surprised to see Alex waiting outside the building. It was Friday afternoon, and I didn’t have many classes, but I needed to spend some time in the library. The summer session was almost over, and then campus would be filled with students starting their Fall semesters. For now though, the library was quiet, and I liked that.

Alex gave me a lopsided smile, and I found myself returning it. I’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, and it had more to do with my guilt over writing about someone who wasn’t the guy I was supposed to be dating. It felt like I was betraying him somehow, even if it was with someone who wasn’t real. Or rather someone I wanted to believe wasn’t real. That had been a recurring thought in the last few hours.

I stopped in front of Alex and tried to give him my full attention.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Nerves curled around in my belly, and I shifted on my feet.

“I’ve been meaning to call you, but it was late when I was done talking to Maddy and I know you were at the hospital.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, and tucked his hands into his jeans. “I thought I’d give you some space.”