Page 57 of Chasing Smoke

“I don’t think you want to hear what your brother and I do on the loun⁠—”

“Yeah, no.” Sutton dramatically covers her ears. “Spare me, please. I’ll never be able to look him in the eyes again.”

Everyone’s heads turn in my direction.

“Sorry, guys. I haven’t been with anyone since Caleb.” I feel my cheeks heat as I think more about Ansel, hoping they don’t see my blush.

“Fair enough,” Sutton says and stands from the couch. “I’m getting a refill. Anyone else?”

I appreciate them not looking at me with pity or sadness and not asking more questions. It would only bring down the mood, and it wouldn’t change anything anyway.

Nina hands her empty glass to Sutton, but Emelia and I wave off the offer.

This should probably be my last glass. I already know I’m going to be suffering in the morning. A hangover will be worth it tomorrow, even with my packed schedule of massages.

Something about coming together with a group of women, discussing your shared experiences, is unlike anything else. It’s a feeling of being seen in a way that I don’t think the opposite sex can ever really fulfill for you.

Sutton returns with a wineglass in each hand, passing one to Nina on the couch, then taking a seat beside her.

“How long are you going to be in town?” Nina asks.

Sutton stills. “Not sure yet.”

“Please… you have to move here,” Emelia says with a bit of a whine to her voice. “It’s just me, Baylor, and all the boys. Don’t leave me with them.” She flops backward so her back is pressed to the area rug.

Sutton laughs. “You have Collins and Nina to back you up.”

Emelia pops back up off the floor. “That’s true. You guys are my new besties, all right? I have no friends in this town.”

“Done.” I clink my wineglass with hers and sip.

“Trust me, I know your pain, Em. I grew up with them all, remember?” Sutton rolls her eyes.

“Do you have any siblings?” Emelia asks me.

I shake my head. “Nope, I was an only child and an army brat.”

“That sounds like it has the potential to be a brutal combo,” Sutton says.

I chuckle. “It had its moments.”

Nina pops up off the couch. “Let’s do something fun.”

She glances at me, and I can tell she’s changing the focus to save me from having to steer anywhere near the topic of my family or Caleb. I appreciate her more than she’ll ever know.

“Let’s put some music on.” Nina walks over to the portable speaker on the shelf and brings it over, setting it on the coffee table. “Collins, you always have party playlists ready to go. Put something on.”

Something I always prided myself on was having the right music for the occasion. I’m a firm believer that the wrong music can break an event.

“As long as it’s not country. I need a Nashville break,” Sutton says.

“All right.” I lean to the side and pull my phone from the back pocket of my jeans. “What are you guys feeling?”

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” Sutton pats the cushion next to her on the couch.

I get up to sit beside her, feeling myself list to the side a bit. Once I’m seated, I pull up my streaming app, go to my playlists, and scroll through them slowly. Emelia and Nina talk about something Jacob did last week while the two of us try to figure out the music.

“What’s that one?” Sutton points at the playlist titled Where’s My Chucks.