Page 89 of A Deal with the Devil

It’s not a perfect resolution, but it’s...a better one, and sometimes better is all you can hope for.

My mother starts making cookies with Kaitlin, and I order pizza for dinner. There is noise and light in the house for the first time in ages, and it feels as if we might have all turned a corner, even my mom.

“Should I open a bottle of wine?” she asks.

Liddie and I both turn to her, jaws open.

“Oh, lighten up, girls,” she says with a wave of her hand. “It was a joke.”

I’m grabbing cash for the pizza when I hear my phone ping, and though I know it’s probably not Hayes, hope is a defiant little thing. It goes on about its business, no matter how vigorously you insist it shouldn’t.

I see Sam’s name and my stomach drops a little. A few more moments like this and the hope will start to fade and so will the ache. Eventually, I’ll be able to smile at the memories of Hayes the way Charlotte and I did today about my dad. Maybe it will even feel as if it’s for the best.

How’s Charlotte doing? Sam writes. Did the trip go okay?

He really is a keeper. Thoughtful in ways Matt wasn’t, and with far more common interests.

It went well, I tell him. And Liddie is here all week, which should be fun.

Maybe they can spare you for a night, he replies. Let’s go out for dinner. I know you’re not ready for more, but I’m still your friend. And I hate how sad you looked last night.

I stare at the phone. I’m not ready for more. At the moment it feels like I never will be. But it’s one of those times where you see how your story will turn out. Like Aisling, I’ve learned about love—what it is and what it is not—and I will carry that lesson forward into the next chapter of my life. Someone like Sam is probably the right choice for me. Maybe the day will come when I can look back to this moment and see it was for the best, how things fell apart with Hayes. Right now, though, it just makes me want to weep all over again.

The doorbell rings, and I grab the cash and jog to the front door, where both Charlotte and Liddie already stand.

“Wow.” Liddie’s got her hands on her hips. “I don’t know about this.”

“That’s fascinating,” comes the drawled response. “But it’s actually her opinion that matters.” The voice is deep, arrogant. British.

Hayes.

I push my sisters to the side and the sight of him—thinner and more tired than he ever was before—cracks me wide open. He’s suffered every bit as much as I have, and it was all my doing.

I burst into tears, and throw myself against his chest. His arms come around me and I’m lifted off my feet. “I’d hoped you’d be a little happier to see me,” he says with a small laugh, burying his head in my hair.

I cling to him as if I’m drowning. “Why didn’t you reply?” I ask. “I tell you I love you and then there was nothing. I thought...I thought…”

He takes my jaw in his palms and kisses me. He kisses me as if he’s starved for me, and that makes sense. I’m starved for him too. It feels as if I’ll never get full.

Behind us, though, my family is offering a steady stream of commentary. “Maybe we shouldn’t be watching this,” says Charlotte, still standing right there in the doorway.

“I knew she was sleeping with him,” says Liddie. “Little liar.”

“Isn’t that her boss?” asks my mother. “And why’s he wearing a suit?”

Hayes flashes them his most charming smile. “I look forward to explaining everything. But a little privacy, for now?” He raises a brow, and Charlotte finally shuts the door.

He pulls me close. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply right away. I had to think.”

“How…romantic?”

He laughs. “It wasn’t a question of what I wanted. I just had to figure out what could be done, how it would work. Because I’m not waiting a year for you to come back to LA.”

My mouth trembles. “Things are improving, but I really do have to stay here. Even if my mom sticks with AA and is able to keep her license, I still can’t leave Charlotte with her alone.”

“I know,” he says. He wipes a tear off my face with his thumb, his mouth curving into a soft smile. “I spoke to the other doctors in my practice this morning. I’ll need to be in LA half the month, but the rest of the time I’ll be here with you.”

I’m speechless, half waiting for a punchline or amendment that doesn’t seem to be coming. “But your job is everything to you,” I finally say.