Page 75 of Parallel

She smiles up at me. “I think maybe I always was.”

I lean down, capture once more that mouth I’ve craved since the first time I ever saw her. But I refuse to get carried away like I did yesterday, on the dock. Tonight is our beginning and I want every step of it to be perfect, memorable. Her hands slide through my hair. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” she says.

“I have a long list of things I’ve wanted to do for so long,” I reply, my mouth moving from her jaw to her perfect neck, “but they’re probably not appropriate for a first date.”

She laughs. “Is that what this is?”

I force myself back from her. “Not yet, it’s not.” Behind her the house is quiet, mostly dark. “I haven’t said this in over a decade, and I’m not sure there’s anything around here that’s open, but are you allowed out after curfew?”

She grins. “Yes. And I know just the place. Wait here.”

She runs inside and comes back a minute later with a blanket, a bottle of wine, and two plastic cups. We drive into the hills and turn onto a gravel road, where she tells me to pull off. “We’re in the middle of nowhere,” I say. “I’d just like to point out that if our situations were reversed you’d probably be getting a little nervous now.”

She grins at me. “You’re safe. Probably.” She hops out and leads me to the top of the hill where, far below us, a river winds as far as I can see, lit with starlight. I pull her close and for a moment we just take it all in. She was right—this is perfect.

“I forgot how wet it is,” she says. “I don’t think we can sit out here.”

“I have an idea.” I open the tailgate of the Jeep and spread the blanket out in back. The roof is already off and the back seats are down, so there’s just enough room for the two of us.

“You’re pulling me into the back of your car but I’m the scary one,” she says as I lift her up.

“You’re safe,” I reply. “Probably.”

She looks at me from beneath her lashes and her mouth curves upward. “That’s disappointing.”

Her words and that raspy little note in her voice send blood rushing to my cock. I flinch as I climb in after her, trying to will it back down to neutral. This is essentially our first date, even if it feels like our hundredth. I’m not going to try to get off in here like some sex-crazed teenager, no matter how hard it is. Literally.

She pours us each a plastic cup full of wine, and then we lie on our sides, facing each other, since there’s really no other way the two of us will fit.

“I like it here,” I tell her. “How’d you find it?”

She puts her wine down. “My dad and I used to hike up here when I was a kid, and later I started coming on my own.”

I hear a hint of something sad in her voice and it puzzles me. I don’t understand how it is that her childhood, when she describes it, always sounds so lonely. She looks like the kind of girl who would have had everything— too many friends and admirers to count, the adulation of an entire town. “Why’d you keep coming back here by yourself?”

She hitches a shoulder. “It was hard growing up here sometimes. It was hard being in my own home half the time. But coming here reminded me how big the world was, and that in a world as big as ours, there was surely a person and place for me.”

“A person?”

Her lashes brush the tops of her cheekbones. “The person you’re meant to be with. The one who accepts you in spite of everything and matters so much that the rest of the world matters less.”

I want to be her person. I already know she’s mine. “And did you ever find your place?”

“Yeah,” she says softly. “That person I was talking about? I’m pretty sure it’s wherever he is.”

I lift up her hand and press my lips to the base of her palm. My nose grazes the inside of her wrist, longs to continue a path on her velvet skin. I stop myself. The gesture might merely be romantic with someone else, but I want so much from her right now I think I could turn almost anything into an excuse to remove her clothes. “You still haven’t told me how you ended things with Jeff.”

She sighs heavily. “It’s a long story. Just suffice it to say he’s very unhappy with me right now. He filled up my voicemail and spent most of the morning calling on repeat, which is why I turned my phone off. Based on the texts I saw tonight…he’s going to need some time to cool off.”

“You’re not planning to go back to your house tomorrow, right?” I know it’s premature but if Meg wasn’t in the process of taking over my apartment, I’d ask her to stay with me when she gets back. I feel a sharp stab of desire at the thought of it. Of having her somewhere private, for an extended period of time. Her splayed out on my bed. Fuck. I need to think about something else, fast.

She gives a small, surprised laugh. “It’s been so chaotic I’d barely thought about it. But no, I’ll avoid the house right now. I guess I’ll crash on Caroline’s couch for a while.”

“And is Caroline Team Nick or Team Jeff? I’m just trying to figure out how many more enemies I have.”

She blushes. “Caroline says I should sleep with you before I decide anything for sure.”

Another stab of desire. “I like Caroline’s ideas. You should listen to her more.”