Page 20 of Parallel

“Then why—”

“I’ve had that dream too,” he says. “About you.”

I blink. I’ve heard him but his words just…don’t make sense. This is my problem, my messed-up brain. If this is his idea of a joke I don’t find it amusing. “What?”

He swallows. “I thought…when I saw you here that my mind was playing tricks on me. But I’ve had that precise dream. You’re standing up on the Sunfish, and then I swim out to get you.”

I feel lightheaded again and lean against the wall of the elevator, the same way he did just a moment before. How can we share the same memory of something we both know never happened? I remember seeing him on the dock, I remember the way he dove into the water and emerged moments later, seal-sleek, grinning. There have been other things in the past, other times my brain somehow misfired. But I’ve never had someone else’s brain misfire alongside mine.

He steps closer, his hands on my arms. “Are you okay?”

I nod. My voice is muted, hoarse. “I just need this to make sense.”

“Me too,” he says, pressing the button to open the elevator’s door. “And I’m not sure a brain scan is going to accomplish that.”

Throughout the exam, I keep my body still, but my mind won’t stop racing. What was that look he gave me when he left? The part of me that wants to romanticize all this might call it longing. And God knows I didn’t want him to leave, but what I really need is not to feel anything for him at all. I’m hard-pressed to imagine we will ever solve this, but I don’t need it solved, I just need it to stop. I can’t keep having these dreams anymore.

When I return to my room, the nurse says she’ll get my paperwork together so I can leave. “I’d like to see Dr. Reilly before I go.”

“I don’t know what his schedule is like today. You may have to book a follow-up with him if you need more information.”

My nails dig into my palms. “No. I need to see him today. I’ll wait if I have to.”

“Yes, all the female patients want to see Dr. Reilly again,” she says with a smirk. “But he’s a very busy man. I’ll see what I can do.”

She thinks I’m trying to fuel a crush, when I’m really trying to end one.

My stomach growls loud enough for us both to hear. “There’s a room at the end of the hall with snacks,” she says. “You can grab something while I get your discharge papers ready.”

As it turns out, the only snacks I find are graham crackers and juice, but I’m hungry enough I don’t even mind. I reach for a cranberry juice, peeling off the foil and drinking it before I’ve even closed the refrigerator door.

“You have to shut the door,” says a small voice. I look over my shoulder to find a little girl with no hair, pulling an IV behind her. “If you don’t, an alarm will go off.”

“Want one?” I offer.

She frowns. “I’m not allowed until my test is done.” I look longingly at the cranberry juices stacked high in the fridge and shut the door. I can’t sit here and drink anything else in front of her.

“So, are you here all day?” I ask.

She drops her eyes. “I kind of live here. When I ask my mommy if we are going home again, she smiles and cries at the same time.”

She scans my face, searching for some kind of answer there. I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Do you miss being home?”

She nods. “And I miss being outside. We used to go get cupcakes. They have cupcakes here, but not good ones.”

“What kind of cupcakes did you get?”

“Red velvet with the white icing that isn’t just white.”

“What about this person?” I ask, pointing to the cartoon character on the T-shirt that covers her hospital gown. “If I come back with a cupcake for you, should I bring one for her too?”

She giggles. “That’s Raven. She doesn’t eat cupcakes.”

“Doesn’t eat cupcakes?” I ask, feigning horror. “That’s crazy talk.”

“I should have known Darcy would find you,” says a voice. I look up and Nick is standing there in all his broad-shouldered glory, crooked smile and dimple on full blast.

My heart flutters and begins beating hard. All my good intentions fade away in his presence—I just want to stay right here and follow him wherever he goes. “Darcy was informing me that Raven does not eat cupcakes. I thought everyone ate cupcakes.”