Page 71 of Drowning Erin

A few minutes later, I am ushered into his office. It’s clear by the look on his face that he has no idea who I am. I introduce myself, mentioning that we met a few times at events in honor of Olivia, who’s probably the only ECU graduate to go on to even marginal fame. That softens him up a little. Olivia, in the years since she left, has put our athletics department on the map. He asks what he can help me with.

“I have the marketing campaign you asked for,” I tell him, trying my best not to sound as pissed as I feel. “These pieces are a little rough, since we didn’t learn until yesterday that you needed them, but I thought I’d bring them by.”

It only occurs to me as I slide the pieces forward that I’ve just bypassed our workplace hierarchy. I’m going to be written up for this, at the very least. Probably worse.

The chancellor looks confused. “Marketing campaign?” he says. “I didn’t ask for this.”

I stare at him in confusion for a moment, and then my body goes cold. I think of all the last-minute requests Timothy’s made, and realize most of them coincided with times he wanted to punish me for something. I wonder if any of those requests came from the chancellor.

I can’t believe I’m just figuring this out now. And I can’t believe I just risked my job for no reason at all.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “Timothy gave us this project late yesterday and said they were needed today. I thought it must have been something important, given the turnaround time.”

“I didn’t ask for any of these,” he says. He looks at the pieces again. “How on Earth did you get all of this done so fast?”

My rage is gone, and the exhaustion hits me so suddenly I think I could curl up in this chair and sleep.

“We stayed up all night—me and one artist,” I say, rising with dejection pressing down on my shoulders. “I’m sorry I interrupted you.”

I did all this work for nothing and may very well have gotten myself fired the first time I tried to do something about it.

“Does this happen a lot?” he asks. “Last-minute projects like that?”

“It happens every week.”

He nods slowly. “And do you see much of Olivia these days?”

“I went up to watch her run Western States a few weeks ago, and I’m godmother to her kids, so I’ll be back for her daughter’s christening in a few months.”

He tells me to say hello for him. I get the feeling my connection to Olivia matters far more than the marketing pieces I just left on his desk. I can only pray it matters enough that he doesn’t rat me out to my boss.

* * *

I tell Brendan the story later that night.

He groans. “Please explain to me why the fuck you’re still there.”

“Normal people require this thing called money, Brendan. I have bills.” I don’t expect him to understand, though. Brendan comes home each night raving about the tour he gave that day, spilling over with plans for bigger and more extensive adventures. His income is almost an afterthought because he has a job he’d do for free.

“But you act like that place is the only job in the entire world,” he argues. “There are lots of jobs, and there are lots of jobs you might enjoy, or have a chance of getting promoted at, or not have to deal with a tool like your boss.”

“But I like ECU. In terms of marketing jobs, it’s a good cause. What if my next job is marketing cigarettes to children? Or cocaine?”

He cocks a brow. “I haven’t seen a whole lot of cocaine advertising directed at kids.”

“And I might not make what Rob makes, but I’m sure I could make less. If my dad gets fired again, my parents will need help. And Sean always needs something. That’s not changing anytime soon.”

He slaps his palm to his face. “Are you fucking serious right now? You’re talking about two grown-ass men who can handle their own shit.”

“I’ve just made a lot of huge changes at once,” I tell him. “People do that when their lives suck, but mine didn’t suck. It just needed improvement. And I’m worried that if I keep changing everything, I’m going to look back and regret what I’ve done.”

“Are you talking about work?” he asks, not looking at me. “Or are you talking about Rob?”

“I don’t even know anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Three months ago I had job security and a fiancé and a very nice home. I had 20k in savings. Now I have none of those things. Sometimes people burn a bridge because they must. But you’re not supposed to burn them all at once.

* * *