Page 7 of Sharing Silence

“Yeah. Is that okay, Z?”

It is, but it brings up countless conversations between Silence and I that never end well, and when she finds out, it could spark another.

“Of course,” I say, smiling.

Xavier says, “You do realize you can’t go out on a job now? Rule one of being a contract killer. You announce you’re leaving, then you’re guaranteed to die at your next hit.”

Grant’s mouth drops open. “Why the fuck would you jinx me?”

“What? It’s true.” Xavier shrugs. “Rest in peace, buddy.”

I throw a pen at Xavier. “Fucking cut it out. Let him have his moment.”

“He’s right, though,” Yale says.

I wave at Grant and Xavier. “Go and make yourselves useful. Grant, there’s a collection in the city. Take Goodwin with you, then we can talk tomorrow about your exit package.”

They stand, and Xavier yanks Grant into a headlock before dragging him out of the office, cackling.

“That’s gonna be weird,” Yale says. “Working without Grant.”

It is. “We’ll get by.”

Yale remains seated, as if he knows there’s more. “You need something from me?”

“Yeah, uh—” I go to the door and close it before returning to my seat. Before speaking, I run my palm across my mouth, my stubble rough against my palm, and wonder if I should even bring it up. My brothers and I try not to keep secrets, but one or two slip through, and maybe this should be one … but I also know my wife. I’d be surprised if Yale doesn’t already know. “Did Silence talk to you about her dream yet?”

He shakes his head. “She mentioned wanting to talk about something, but Xavier was lingering.”

I tap my finger on the desk. “She dreamt about you and Xavier.”

“Doing what?” He tilts his head, and I raise my brows in response. He grins. “Really?”

“Don’t look too fucking smug. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner, to be honest.”

“Okay, so … why are you bringing it up? Did it freak you out?”

No.

The opposite.

And I wasn’t exactly prepared for that.

My brother watches me, and now I wish I hadn’t said anything. I don’t even know why I did. Reassurance?

An offer?

This new side of our sex lives is exciting.

I trust Silence, she trusts me, and I’m fairly sure I know what I want, but I also don’t know how I’ll really feel until it happens.

I’ve been wrestling with two options: let it happen with a stranger that we can walk away from if it doesn’t go the way we want, or do it with someone we both trust. Someone who will put mine and Silence’s minds at rest if it isn’t what we thought it’d be.

Of course, Yale was the first person I thought of. He’s Silence’s best friend. He’s my brother. More than that, though, he’s a good man. I trust him with my life.

Never once did I consider both of my brothers until this morning. And it didn’t scare me. There was no flare of jealousy or unease, just curiosity at how it would happen and what it would look like. Logistically.

“I don’t know. Guess I just needed to say it out loud.”