Page 32 of Sharing Silence

Truthfully, I don’t know who I’d be without them. I’m not one whole person, I’m a third, and I’m more than okay with that. When we’re together, I’m complete, and isn’t that how family is supposed to make you feel?

I’ve never felt the need to compete with Xavier or Zayden. They were always a little bit bigger, a bit rougher round the edges, more eager to get into scraps than I was. As I got older, I worked for my muscle and my strength, but the main reason I did it is because I wanted another thing to bond with them over. They liked lifting weights, so I learned to like it, too.

What people don’t get about my brothers and I is that it isn’t a fear that you’ll blend in. It’s a fear that one day you won’t. That the people who have been by your side your entire life suddenly won’t be there, and more of the spotlight shines on you.

I hope that day never comes.

Our bond has always been as steady and reliable as my heartbeat, so I was surprised that when I first met Silence, I was drawn to her in a similar way. She was another piece of us.

Eventually, we went from a third to a quarter, and it felt right. It always has.

Resting my shoulder against the doorframe, I watch Silence sleeping, Bullet stretched out at her feet. This was how I realized I loved her—she was sleeping, and I was watching her, hypnotized by the rise and fall of her chest and the way she’d sometimes sigh or smile in her sleep.

I never needed to tell Zayden that I loved his wife. He just knew. He never judged me for it, either. I suppose out of everyone, he understands the most, because he loves her, too. And he knows I’d never act on it, which is why he felt comfortable enough to share her dream and so much of her time with me.

And why when he catches me watching her sleep, there isn’t a flash of jealousy in his expression. “She okay?”

“Sleeping like a baby.”

“Good.” He nods toward the end of the hallway, and we go into the spare room where Xavier is sleeping. It reeks of vodka, but I can’t blame him given the pain he must be in. “X, wake up.”

“Fuck off,” he mumbles.

Zayden flicks our brother’s nose. “Wake the fuck up. We need to talk.”

Xavier growls. “I was stabbed. Can’t I get a few fucking minutes of peace?”

“We need to discuss where we’re going.”

I sit on the other side of the bed, propped up by pillows, and as always, Zayden stands. Xavier opens his eyes and groans. “Why would we leave?”

“Because this place isn’t kitted out to prevent Ryker from getting close,” Zayden says. “My priority is taking Silence somewhere safe. It’ll give us time to find out more about this fucker and take him down.”

Xavier pushes himself up on his elbows. “Now that is a plan I’m on board with.”

“Yale? What do you think?”

I shrug. “It’s what we’ve always done, right? Keep moving to survive.”

“That isn’t really an opinion,” Z says. “Do you think it’s a good idea?”

This is my side of our work. When Zayden found the Agency, we were only nineteen, and I was reluctant. I wasn’t a fighter, definitely not a killer, and I didn’t know where I’d fit in. It was a place to go, Zayden had said, even if the price was our souls.

Our trainer, Drago, could’ve tossed me aside. Instead, he saw my potential. I’m smart, I’m logical, and tech has always been something I’ve taken to. In school, while I was failing math and testing my lungs in phys ed, computers held my attention.

I was still trained to the same level my brothers were, I had to be to survive, but what came to them naturally took me months of practice. So, when we finally graduated and there were only five of us left in our recruitment, I was happy to step back, open a laptop and plan instead of punch.

“It’s the right thing to do,” I say. “We have basic security here, but if Ryker is as advanced as he seems, we’ll fold quickly. He also has a massive advantage, because we don’t know what Grant told him. Our chances of surviving are higher if we go to one of the safe houses.”

The door is nudged open, and Bullet appears. He jumps onto the bed and sniffs Xavier’s face, sneezing once he gets a nose full of the vodka, I imagine. He lies down on me instead.

“We just need to figure out which safe house,” I say, stroking the dog’s head. “And then leave tonight.”

“Good plan.” Xavier yawns and gives us a thumbs-up. “Wake me up when you’ve decided.”

As Xavier drifts back to sleep, Zayden and I run through the seventeen properties we own across the country. They’re all fully stocked and waiting for us, but two are occupied by recruits who are lying low after high-profile kills. It’s mandatory to take six months out when we’re assigned someone of importance.

Other properties are on the East Coast—too far to travel, especially if we want to remain close to the Agency. We might need resources if push comes to shove, so distancing ourselves wouldn’t be smart.