Page 45 of Hawk

“It hasn’t been my home for a long time, Hawk. That’s not going to change.”

“What if I tell you that you wouldn’t ever have to live in fear if you came back home? I’d make sure of it.”

“I wouldn’t ask that of you. Besides, growing up, I never once thought I was in danger. I never saw myself as a target. I wasn’t a Sinclair. I wasn’t an old lady, or family to anyone in the club. I was a no one, insignificant in the turf war, but that didn’t matter in the end. I was hurt. I was affected by the club’s life, and I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone, especially my child. I can never go back, and Sam will never know of that place. He’ll never know of how he came to be. My son will only know love.”

I scoot closer, leaning into her so no one, mainly Sam, has the chance to hear my words. “What are you going to do when Sam wants to know who his father is?” My gaze falls to the little boy in question. He’s still playing a racing game, and I know I’ve given him enough tokens to keep him busy. “What are you going to say? That he didn’t want to stick around? How is that going to show Sam that he was made out of love?”

“He’s almost seven, you don’t think he hasn’t asked? That’s a weekly question.”

“And what’s your answer?”

“That not everyone has both parents, and he happens to be one of them.”

“That’s a very vague answer.”

“Yeah, well it works for now, so I’m not going to change it. Besides, Cory has always been there for Sam when he’s needed it. Sam hasn’t been without.”

“Except for being able to call someone dad.”

“You and I both know that calling someone by ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ doesn’t make them that.”

I sit back, thinking about what she said, and she’s right. Her mother gave birth to her, and when she needed her mom the most, Gloria turned her back on her. How can a mother do that? For most of my life, I’ve thought my mother had done the same thing, but the information I now know suggests otherwise. My father might be the reason why she left me. It might have been him that drove her away from me, and that’s something that I’ll never be able to forgive him for. Dead or not, he robbed me of my mother. How could I still claim him as my father and be proud to be his son if those things were true?

“You’re right.”

“Mom.” Sam comes walking up with that douchebag from the bar Tessa works at.

“Sam?” Tessa’s face pales as she shoots from the booth making me follow right behind her. “Phil, what are you doing?” She reaches out and grabs Sam by the shoulder, placing him at her side.

“I saw him in the other room trying to win stuffed animals from the claw game.”

I swear I just looked at him and saw him playing not ten feet away from us. “He gave me money,” Sam says.

“What happened to the money I gave you?” I ask Sam but keep my eyes trained on Phil.

“I still have some left. I’m going to play some more.” He tries to pull from Tessa’s grip, but she doesn’t allow him to move.

“No,” Tessa says. “You’re sitting down because our pizza should be here any moment.”

I feel Sam’s body brush past mine as he takes a seat. “Listen,” I grit, keeping my voice low. “I don’t know what you’re playing at here.” I take a step towards him, and the fucker doesn’t make a move. He has no clue who the fuck he’s messing with. “But you need to keep away from Tessa and Sam. I’m not going to tell you again.”

He smirks. “Hey, I was only passing by. It was a coincidence, nothing more, nothing less.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“Anyway…” He completely ignores me and looks at Tessa. “I noticed Sam’s lip. I hope everything’s all right.” His eyes flick to mine and then back to Tessa. Fuck no.

“It’s fine, Phil. Besides, this isn’t your place. Like, at all,” Tessa says.

“Just looking out for a friend and her son.”

“We aren’t friends, Phil. I don’t even know you.”

“I’ve made an effort to change that, Tessa, and you told me you don’t date. Yet here you are, with this guy.” He juts his thumb in my face. “The same guy from the bar, so by the looks of it, you do date.”

Tessa opens her mouth, I’m sure to defend herself, but I’m done with this guy.

“Enough, Phil, we’re done here. You can go now.” I reach my arm between Tessa and Phil, turning her body towards the booth which Sam’s still sitting in, watching us. As soon as she’s sitting down, I scoot my body next to her. I do this for two reasons. One, I don’t want that fucker getting close to her. And two, I want to have my eyes towards the front of the restaurant, so I can see who’s coming and going. Something isn’t right with this guy, and I’ll be damned if he tries to get sneaky with Tessa and Sam.