Page 27 of Sin

"I told you." Cut’s standing at the head of the table, yelling as soon as I enter the room. "I fucking told you to send her back to wherever the hell she came from. I told you that she wasn't our problem, but you couldn't let it go, could you?"

"What are you talking about?" I glance around the table. None of the guys look like they're happy. The fact that none of them make eye contact with me, tells me I’m the cause. They all sit around the table, arms folded across their chests.

Stone-faced.

"You and your goddamn savior complex.” My eyes lock with Cut's. “You've really fucked up this time, Sin."

I scan around the room again, waiting for an answer. "He's reached out across the border for helping getting his girl back." Dyke speaks up. "After he left here, he made the call. This is some shit, Sin. More shit than we need. We don't need this kind of heat, if you know what I mean. Our clients aren't going to be calling us knowing that the cartel and whatever shit storm they bring are on our backs. You need to think about this, son." Dyke trying to take the fatherly route with me isn’t going to work.

"There's nothing to think about. There's no way that I'm giving her back to him. She's fucking pregnant, man."

"It's not our problem."

I glare at my brother after he made his comment. "I need to speak to my brother, alone."

"This is a club issue."

"I need to speak to my brother." I repeat.

"It's not going to change my mind, brother."

I slam my hand against the table. "Can you for once, put this fucking club second and your family first." I seethe.

"This club is our family, Matthew. I know it's not one you wanted, but it's been your choice to stay." I stare at my brother. I’m not backing down from this. I want to talk to Devin, not Cut. To speak to the man who means something to me, not the President of the MC, but my brother. My blood. "Everyone out." He barks. The door shuts taking the grumbling and cursing from the club with it. Devin, my big brother is now glaring back at me in anger, his arms crossed over his chest.

I hang my head, breathe deep, taking a moment to get my words right. I don’t need an argument or a screaming match; I just need him to hear me.

"Sometimes I wish this club died with Dad." I look at the wall that holds the members of the club since it was founded, my dad at the top. "Or that it died long before Dad did. So many things have happened in our lives because of the MC and instead of cutting ties and walking away, we stay. You stay."

"No one ever told you that you had to come back, Matt. Or this is the life you had to live. You chose to come back and become a member. Dad was alright with you walking away and doing your own thing. He would have been alright if you stayed away, even after his death. You can't blame what happened to you on him or this club."

"Yeah, well I can blame what happened to our sister on this club."

"That's such bullshit and you know it. Jesus, Sin, you need to get your head out of your ass and look around you. Dad and the club didn't kill Sienna, that sick fuck did. It doesn't matter if the club was formed or not, he still would have done that shit. He still would have been fucked in the head.” I stay silent. “Do you blame Mom for the shit that went down with Sienna?"

I snap my head towards my brother, pissed that he would even suggest such a thing. "No, why the hell would I do that?"

"Why wouldn't you? Louie's obsession with her is what made him look Sienna's way. Maybe if Mom had given in, then things would have been different. Did you ever think of that?"

"That doesn't make sense, Devin. If Mom made different choices, then none of this would matter. You and I and whatever this club is going through wouldn’t matter because chances are, there would be no you and me."

"Exactly. What I’m saying is that we can't talk about the what-ifs in life. You can’t keep playing that shit in your head, Matt. You can’t think about how it would be if the club didn’t exist because it does and that’s the reality of this all. The club didn't kill our sister, a twisted man did."

"Are you tired of keeping Lily a secret?"

"What the hell does Lily have to do with the fact that you put this club in danger because you can't admit to the fact that you fucked up by bringing her here."

"She's pregnant, Devin. How am I supposed to send her back, or send her anywhere knowing that he has the power to find her? How can I live with myself knowing that I sent her back to harm’s way?"

"Sienna was not in an abusive relationship, Matthew. That's something that you need to understand. She wasn't killed by her boyfriend; she was murdered by an asshole that had a fantasy about having the daughter of the woman who got away."

"This isn't about Sienna; this is about me and doing the right thing. Look Cut, I'll leave. I'll take Savannah and we'll go, lay low. I'll go so the club can resume its business and not have to worry about the backlash from the Mexicans or whatever else Redding tries to throw our way. If you don't want her here, then that's the only option I'm willing to discuss."

"Matthew, you've always done what's right." I look up to my brother. How can he think I've always done right? "Mom and Dad never had to worry about you, and because you were you, they never had to worry about Sienna. They always knew you had her, you were there for her. That left them more time to deal with my shit, and we both know I gave them a lot. I wasn't easy; I never thought to do the right thing. I never thought it mattered, but you; you've always done the right thing. Always."

"I don't agree with you on the always part."

"That's another thing you need to work out, Sin. You need to stop regretting the decisions you've made in life, man. You need to stop thinking you made a bad choice by leaving home when you graduated. You need to stop thinking you let your men down when you were in the desert and most of all; you need to stop blaming yourself for the shit that happened to Dad and Sienna." I didn't say anything. There wasn't anything to say. "Pack up her shit and bring her over here. I don't want any more shit happening over at Mom's."