Page 26 of Sin

“I know it's not very smart.”

“No, it’s not.” Bianca clears her throat at Sin’s response. “I’m going to leave you kids alone.” She pushes the chair back into the table. "I’ll head over to the club house; give you kids some privacy."

We sit in silence, me still holding onto his hand. His fingers begin to stroke my skin, relaxing me in the process. “Do you ever feel that you deserve what life throws at you?” I ask, looking up at him.

"Every damn day of my life. But there's reasons why I feel that way, why I deserve the shit storm that's become my life. But you, you deserve more than whatever your life's been for these past few years."

"Why don’t I feel that way?"

"You think you deserve to be abused?"

"I think I deserved it since I allowed it."

"That's such bullshit."

"I’m adopted.” I tell him. This is another thing I haven’t told him in the times we’ve talked. “I was born to a junky. I could’ve been raised by one, but I was lucky. My life changed the moment I was taken away from my birth mother. An entire pregnancy of her being high, and it didn't affect me in the slightest. I was born healthy, but there was still her poison running through my veins. Still is. Who knows, she may be dead, and I've lived a near perfect life. Maybe—” My phone starts to ring, interrupting my thoughts. It's Tyson's familiar ringtone. I ignore it and take a steadying breath. "My parents saved me, gave me a life where I didn't want for anything. Even if they worked their butts off to provide it. I never took what they gave me for granted. There has been times when I’ve question my life, what I should be, who I should be. Why was I lucky enough to be given the life that I was when so many other kids weren’t as lucky? Maybe I’ve been secretly punishing myself for feeling that I’m nothing special, that I shouldn’t have been given the life that I was given."

"You don't believe that."

"There’s no reason to tell you anything but the truth. This is probably the most truthful thing that I've said in four years."

"You're too young to think that."

"It doesn’t matter my age; I've lived through more over these past few years than most people could ever imagine." Tyson's ringtone blares through the silence again.

"Goddamn it." He gets up, grabbing my cell from the end table.

"Sin–"

"Listen, motherfucker. I. Will. End. You." he barks into the phone.

"That's where you're wrong, Matt, or do I call you Sin?" Tyson's voice comes over the speaker. "I don’t give a shit either way. You're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong and you had better get very smart real fast or every single one of the people you love will suffer the consequences. You get me?"

"Listen here, pretty boy, you don't scare me and you don't know shit about me."

"Matthew Joseph Sinclair, second born to Bianca and Devin Sinclair. Served four years in the U.S. Marines until honorably discharged due to injury. An injury that happens when one turns his back on his—"

"Tyson." I speak up when I see the rage burning in Sin's eyes. His nostrils flare, the corded muscles of his neck strain. His hand clenches into a fist at his side. "What do you want?”

"Is that anyway to speak to the father of your baby, Savannah? Really? Did I make a mistake? You know that I don't like to make mistakes."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sin bellows. I reach out, trying to calm him.

Tyson's laughs. "Trying to play protector now, huh, Sin? Don't you think it's a little late for that?"

"Tyson, get to your point."

"My point, Savannah is that I've spent the last four years putting up with your shit. Your dream, what you want from your life and the thing is, what you want and what I want are two different things. So, in order to make sure things go the way I wanted, I made sure your plans didn't."

"Get to your point, Redding." Sin snaps.

"The only person who was surprised about that baby was Savannah. I knew exactly what I was doing when I fucked with her pills." He chuckled into the speaker. "I can't have her thinking she actually had a choice when it came to how her life is supposed to be."

"Motherfu—"

"Sin." I look up and see Hawk standing in the door. "You need to head over the clubhouse. Now." Tyson's laughter taunts us as Sin and I stare at each other.

"Run along, boy, you're being summoned." I rip the phone from Sin's hand and hit 'END'.