Page 23 of Sin

“Yeah, it happened right when Cut and I got together. Maybe our first couple of weeks. I didn’t think we would survive. Watching him lose his sister and his father was heart breaking, and that’s putting it mildly. Sin, well, you have no idea what he went through. He was laid up, still recovering from his injuries. He had been back in the states for a few months when everything went down. He was out of his mind when he found out his sister had been taken. They had her for twenty-four hours; they tortured, beat, and raped her continuously. That young girl, she was torn from back to front with the brutal invasions of her body. We still don’t know how many attacked her, there was no medical evidence, every single one of them wore protection, but from what the ME said, there were many.” My stomach twists at her words.

My eyes fill with tears as I lay there listening about the death of Sienna. It was brutal, more so than I can ever imagine. My heart physically hurt from the news. I picture the girl in the photos I’ve studied over the past two weeks and I can’t even imagine that same girl, the one so full of life, being tortured, beaten, and raped over and over. Hearing her screams in agony as she’s being ripped in two by man after man. Her bright eyes going dull in defeat.

Lily sits me up, wrapping a towel around my head. “I was standing in the club house when news broke of her death. The sound of agony came from Bianca first, her screaming as she fell to the ground, clapping her hands over her ears as she rocked back and forth calling to her daughter. But Sin’s reaction, my God, his reaction broke my heart, his cries for his sister. I’ve never heard anything like it. He was unable to do anything but lay there, pounding his fists into his head, repeatedly, screaming Sienna’s name. Helpless in more ways than one. Devin Sr. roared in pain. He destroyed the clubhouse, smashing everything in his path. He cursed Louie, swearing vengeance. He cursed God for taking his angel from him. We all stood there, the club house was full, waiting on word of Sienna and we all watched as the family broke.”

Tears roll down my face as I clench the arms of the chair. My stomach feels sick by the news of what Bianca and her family had experienced. My throat dry and scratchy. I look up to see Bianca watching me, sadness in her eyes. Trina is gently consoling her aunt.

“Cut, he left, took off. No one knew where he went.” I jumped at the sound of Lily’s voice. “He didn’t return for days. He didn’t even know his father was killed until after he returned. It was several days after. The club mourned without Cut.”

“How did they find out about Sienna? Who told them?”

“That sicko sent pictures to Devin Sr. bragging about how good she was, so much better than her mother could ever be. That’s how Devin knew where his little girl was, through text. Devin Sr. stormed the warehouse and was ambushed, killed while he was taking Sienna down from the hooks that were piercing her body. Hound, Hawk’s dad was killed too. They threw his body at the gates of the compound. That was the end of so much for this family. There was so much destruction, so much horror. Death. That’s the reason why you didn’t know about me. Louie is still out there, and Cut needs to make sure I’m safe, so no one outside of the clubs knows I’m his wife. It’s for my safety.”

“My God.” I was at a loss for words.

Those are the last words about what had happen to Sienna and the family. There isn’t more to say, no more explanation needed. My heart hurt for these people, so much has been taken from them. So much suffering at the hands of one man, and now I’m seeing and understanding why Sin is the way he is, towards me, towards life.

“Lily?” I ask as I stand to leave. “What happened to Sin while he was in the military?”

“Well, Savannah, that’s a story that he needs to tell. I only told you Sienna’s so you might get the chance to understand him a little better. But you can’t know him by someone else’s stories. You have to get to know the man, by his own story.”

“Holy shit, is that Savannah?” I turn my head at Hawk’s voice and see him staring, blatantly towards my mom’s house. Following Hawk’s line of sight, my mouth drops open and my body stills. The woman shuts the door to my mom’s car and turns my way. Shit, it is Savannah. My knees weaken and a sudden buzz flows through my body.

“Yep, it’s her alright.” Hawk chuckles. I stand there motionless as I watch Hawk saunter over to her. He takes her hand and kisses the backside. She throws her head back and laughs at his actions. The fact that he’s touching her makes me want to pounce and rip his hands from hers ordering him to never touch her again.

My mom told me she was taking Savannah out. She said it was time to get her among the living, as she put it. She needed to get some sunshine on her ass and to socialize with someone other than herself. She took her to the salon, where I know she met Lily. I never thought she would come back looking so different. So much better than the girl who I brought into my life a few weeks ago. Her once bleached blonde hair is now a reddish brown. Where before it was all one length, it’s now layered, flowing down her back. Her face is framed by shorter wispier hairs. I can only imagine how her eyes must look against the chestnut of her hair. The uniform of club clothes has been replaced by a short summery looking dress. Her feet are clad with a cork type sandal.

Seeing her now, smiling and laughing is what I want for her. But there’s more to my desire, something that I can’t allow myself to acknowledge. I won’t deny the fact that I'm a man and Savannah is a beautiful woman, more beautiful than I’ve ever seen. I swallow at the understandings of my thoughts, what my attraction to her means. I picture what she would look like naked, bare before me. Her hair falling around her pert breasts. I wonder if her skin is as smooth as it looks. If it would feel like silk beneath my touch. I can almost feel her wrapped around my cock, coming, climaxing. The feel of her letting go would be like walking through paradise. A place where I know I would never be welcome, a place I can never step. I shake the thoughts from my head. I’m tired of living the what-ifs. Of thinking of the what-it-could-be, because there will never be something to me and Savannah, friendship is the only thing I’m willing to offer her. It’s the only thing I can give and knowing that I can’t give her more is starting to piss me off.

I can only imagine what took place when Savannah found out that Cut was married and the reasoning behind the fact that we keep his wife hidden. I want to ask; to know what goes on in Savannah’s mind when she finds things out about me, my life and the way we live it, but I can’t. I can’t form a connection with her or allow myself to care for her more than what I already do. If I do, then there’s a chance I might lose her and I don’t want her lost, I want her found. I want her to find herself, a life she’s happy with. I know that’s not a possibility for me. My life brings nothing but destruction, and I refuse to destroy hers.

“Hey, Sin.” she calls out from across the yard. I lift my chin in acknowledgement. “Are you gonna come over here, or are you gonna stand there and stare all day?” She smiles bright, but I ignore it, raising my hand, swatting away her comment. I chastise myself, knowing I wouldn’t mind staring at her all day.

I continue to watch the exchange between Hawk and Savannah. My mother smiles at them and shakes her head as she heads to the house. I know he’s spent some time with her, because he’s told me. He says there isn’t anything there between them, he’s only being friendly. I know it’s shouldn't matter who she spends time with, as long as it isn’t me. I keep my distance even though we do talk. I was the one she told her dreams to, her hopes for the future and what she hopes to become.

*****

I can see her staring at me through the window of the shop that leads out to the garage. I’ve been working on the latest project for a client and the entire time I’ve been tweaking and making sure the body’s line is smooth, she’s been in the shop, pretending that she’s doing something, but I know she’s been watching me. My mom asked me to let her come into the shop for a little bit each day. Savannah needed to get out and interact with people because being stuck in a house all day wasn’t healthy. She’s too bright to let her intelligence wilt away. I couldn’t argue with my mom, so I asked Savannah yesterday if she wouldn’t mind helping out. Check inventory, look into the cash flow. I had pretty much everything handled, but with her there, I would be able to focus more on designing.

I can feel the burning of her eyes on my back. I turn to look at her and she quickly darts her eyes away. “Hey, sugar?”

“Yeah.” She peeks her head into the garage.

“You wanna help me out here?”

“Oh, alright.”

Today she’s wearing a short pair of shorts and the club sleeveless shirt. The shirt is a little small on her and her tits are big enough that it pulls tight, showing off the nice rack that she’s been blessed with. Her hair is thrown up in a messy knot. She’s sporting some black chucks and no socks. But it’s the shorts that get me. They hit right below her ass and when she bends over, they ride up even higher. I may have asked her to bend over to grab a few things for me from the lower shelves so I can check her out. I know, I’m a total ass, but I’m a guy, a guy who hasn’t been getting any pussy lately so I’m gonna do what I need to do to satisfy my urge

“Take a seat right there.” I point to the stool next to me. As soon as she sits, she begins to rock back and forth, pushing her feet from her heels to her toes. “Are you enjoying your shop time?” I ask.

“Yeah, it helps to pass the time.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. She does that when she’s nervous.

“Are you nervous, sugar?”

“No, of course not. Why would I be?” She tries to tuck an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear again.

“No reason.” I shake my head and can’t help but grin. Taking a pair of snips, I begin to cut the sheet metal of the bike.