Page 17 of Sin

“I’m fine.” He rubs the scar. “Did they fill you in?”

“Hawk did, sorta.”

“Sorta, sugar?” He raises his eyebrow.

“So, Matthew, huh? Not Sin?” I change the subject.

“I see you caught that. My mother refuses to use our club names.” He walks closer, sitting on the chair across from me. He’s always keeping his distance. That’s something I've noticed the few times we’ve had some alone time. Getting close, but always leaving enough space between the two of us.

“Club names?”

He pulls the towel from his shoulders and tosses it onto the coffee table separating the two of us. “Yeah, what we call each other. It’s what others around us know us as. My mom doesn’t give into them, though. She never has. It’s her way of reminding us that we’re people, men, before we’re bikers. A way to keep our humanity, I guess.”

“Bikers?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s what I thought back there with a room full of guys wearing leather vests and stuff. So you’re like Sons of Anarchy and or something like that?”

He laughs. “I’m not sure any of us are as pretty as Charlie, and I’m sure the life we live isn’t as glamorous as those boys in Charming, but yeah. I guess you can say its close.” He watches my throat as I swallow again.

“But the guys, they never call you Matthew?”

“Technically, I’m only Matthew to my mother. The MC calls me Sin.”

“Why?”

“It’s just the way we do things.”

“Who named you Sin?”

“My father. It was kind of an inside joke,” he chuckled to himself and continues. “Since he always said I was anything but sin. I was the good boy, the one who didn’t get into trouble, the one who never fought. I was nothing like him. Now Cut, see, his name fits him. He's cut from the same cloth as my father. Once he got older, he lost Devin Jr or DJ and went with Cut. He's my father’s son.”

“I have to agree with your father. I can see how you could never live up to a name like Sin, how you’re a good guy.”

“Sugar, you don’t know anything about me. There’s more sin in this body than there is savior, trust me.”

“The scars on your body say differently.”

“These scars are from a long time ago, a different time. I was a different person.” I want to know why he thinks he’s a different person, but I don’t want to push. “Are you gonna go back? To him?”

Bringing my gaze to him, I shake my head, giving him an answer I'm not ready to voice. His soft blue eyes rake over my face. I know he’s looking at the bruising, the swelling of my eye, and the crack in my lip. There isn’t any judgment, only concern. In four years, there has only been one person who had known enough to be concerned and that was Jenni. That’s also the reason why she was no longer in my life. Tyson didn’t like her blunt comments when it came to my relationship with him. She never guarded her feelings. She never thought to use a filter around him, and that’s the reason why he gave me an ultimatum, it was either him or her and I chose wrong.

My best friend since childhood and I pushed her out of my life. I turned on her. I became nasty to her. I was constantly defending my relationship and throwing it in her faces how she was lonely, how she was jealous of Tyson and my relationship. I pushed and pushed until she was no longer there. I was with Tyson for less than a year when I lost her. She was the first of many friends that I had lost through my relationship with him. My life became strictly him. My only reprieve was school. I'm sure if I hadn’t had that, then I would have lost who I was completely.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Haven’t you already been asking me somethings?” He smiles making my stomach flip. “What happened to your sister?” His smile falls as he clenches his eyes closed. It’s clear I've touched on a painful subject “I’m only asking because your mom says that I can stay in her room. I feel like I’m intruding. I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted.”

“My mother is putting you where she wants you, Savannah. Don’t feel like you’re intruding; take it more like a compliment and a sign.”

“A sign?”

“Yeah, that she's finally healing.” He nods once before leaving me alone.

Still not answering my question.

The banging of the cupboard doors wakes me from my nap. Once Sin left, I must have dozed off. I walk into the kitchen and watch Bianca float around the room. “Oh, mija, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet.”