Page 92 of Buck & Mari

And it was on him for keeping away.

And ignoring her calls and messages.

“I’ve been struggling.”

She sat up beside him and damn it, she looked good.

She looked great on every damn day, but naked?

Her neck marked, her skin rosy and flushed after sex?

Fuck… He was hard again.

Something she didn’t see thanks to the sheet that was thrown across his hips.

He knew she was waiting for him to talk and even though he wasn’t sure he was ready to, she deserved something from him.

“I need to make a decision about the military. I’m cleared to return to duty, but I’m not sure I can go back.”

He looked at her face and saw the concern in her gaze.

Concern that humbled him.

“You haven’t made the decision?”

He shook his head and sat up a little, bracing his arm under him and turned nearly on his side to look at her. “I met with Pallas.”

“Your friend.” She nodded.

“My friend and the new leader of my unit.”

She nodded again. “After the accident.”

His mouth went dry.

Accident.

It sounded so… simple.

“Yeah. He’s in charge now.” He pushed past his instinct to wallow, choosing to let her in as much as he could. “I had to meet with him and talk about my plans. I told him that I might not be able to go back.”

Mari’s fingertips trailed over his chest. “It’s not because of your health?”

He nodded. “I’m cleared for that, but… I don’t know if I have the heart for it anymore.”

“Is this because of Chicago? What happened to him?”

Hearing her say his name gave him an odd feeling in his chest.

Mari had never known Chicago. She’d never seen him.

And she never would, but the sound of her voice was gentle. Filled with concern.

“Partly.” He covered her hand with his own. “Mostly. But not just his loss. I couldn’t help him, Mari. I couldn’t save him or even come close to doing anything for him.”

“Tell me…” She swallowed and he watched her throat work. “You told me some things about that night…”

He had.