Page 52 of Abiding Blood

“You want me. I want to feed you,” Julian pleaded.

I leaped off the sofa and turned toward the fireplace. “You’ve gone too far. You’re hurting me, Julian,” I said, struggling to control myself before I could face him.

When I finally turned back, Julian sat up straight, his hands in his lap. He looked ashamed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not trying to hurt you. That’s not my intention.”

“I know,” I said. I sat on the floor, not trusting myself to sit next to Julian on the sofa, and drew my knees up. Looking down at the carpet, I suddenly felt tired and confused. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I’m not trying to hurt you either,” I said, unsure whether Julian could hear me. “I want you, Julian, but I’m…afraid.”

Julian sank down next to me on the floor. I glanced up at him, sitting beside me, and the situation struck me differently. There was no escape. But we weren’t trapped; we were in it together.

“Afraid? You don’t have to be afraid,” Julian said. “You just have to give us a chance.”

Turning my head, I gazed into Julian’s beautiful, kind eyes. They were so full of trust and hope, holding a promise of tenderness I desperately needed. But I was afraid. I was terrified I would lose control if he got too close. I would take everything Julian offered and more. Too much.

Before I could pull away, Julian leaned in and kissed me gently. I inhaled his warm breath, felt his soft lips against mine, and all my objections died in my throat.

I wrapped my arms around Julian and pulled him closer. The taste of him was intoxicating. I told myself to be careful, to take it easy, but I was a man starved. Kissing my way across his jaw and down the column of his throat, I meant to go slowly. But hunger and desire made me impatient, and I struck quicker than was kind.

Julian gasped but dug his fingers into my sides, holding on, drawing me closer as I fed. He leaned back, and I eased him down to the floor, positioning myself over him, savoring not only the taste of him but also the feel of his body under mine. The delicious pressure of the two of us hard against one another. Another growl rose in my throat as I swallowed another mouthful and moved myself against him.

I wanted it to go on forever, but my concern for Julian took over, and I stopped feeding after only a few blissful moments. I tended to Julian’s neck and, with great effort, pushed myself back.

“Are you okay?” I asked, breathing hard, the taste of him still on my tongue. “I didn’t mean to be so rough.”

“I’m okay,” Julian reassured me. I tried to move away to give him space, but Julian reached out and held me in place. “I’m okay, but I’m not done with you,” he said, out of breath. “If you’re willing.”

“I am,” was all I managed to say before his mouth crashed against mine, his hands going for the buttons of my shirt.

We made short work of getting out of our clothes, and I was grateful for the fire to keep Julian warm. His body was beautiful to behold, with smooth skin and lean muscle, carved into a lithe, reclining form I couldn’t look away from. His gaze lingered on me as I knelt beside him. His hands traced the lines of my chest and abdomen, then wandered down to grasp me firmly, his eyes locked on mine as I let out a groan.

Julian took the sound as encouragement and soon replaced his hand with his warm mouth. I let my head fall back as he worked his mouth up and down. But the urge to touch him was too much. I needed to have my hands on him, to make him feel good, to make this about more than me.

Gently, I eased him away from me, and he peered up at me with a raised brow.

“Do you want me?” I asked. “Will you have me? Inside you?”

He cocked his head, a smile tugging at his full lips. “More than just your teeth, you mean?”

I nodded. “Yes. I don’t know if you have any⁠—”

“Bedside table in my room,” he said, cutting me off.

I was back in seconds. Julian chuckled, took the bottle I found, and opened it. “I take that as a yes?” I asked.

He lay back, making room for me between his thighs. “Yes,” he said. “Absolutely yes.” He spread his knees farther apart. “Unless you want me on my knees?”

“No,” I said. “I want to look at you, see your face, and kiss you.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything.

Now it was my turn to explore him with my mouth as I readied him with my fingers. I was mindful of my fangs, and Julian let out soft moans as I worked my way up his body. I was grateful for my past experiences with humans. I knew just how much pressure I could apply, how to touch him just so, how to give him the pleasure I’d been denying him for so long. And having just fed, I trusted myself to let go and enjoy myself, too. Finally, I made my way back to his throat as I positioned myself.

“I want you,” he breathed raggedly into my ear. “Please.”

I didn’t need any more invitation. I pushed inside his tight heat, letting out a moan of my own. For all my doubts, being with Julian felt so right, so natural. With every thrust, my confidence grew. What a fool I’d been to keep us apart all those weeks. Touching him, holding him, having sex with him felt easy, like coming home.

As I got closer, I reached between us to stroke him, kissing and licking the side of his neck. In all my previous encounters with humans, I had been careful to time my partner’s release with my own so they wouldn’t notice my bite, but I realized I didn’t need to hide it from Julian. I shouldn’t hide it from him.

“I’m going to bite you again,” I growled into his ear.