Page 16 of My Craving

Yes. I walked down here because I needed to see him, and now that he isn’t here, I’m fucking irritated.

“Would you send Mr. Campbell to my office when he returns from lunch? I’d like to speak with him.”

Curiosity flashes across Caroline’s face before years of corporate survival instinct reassert themselves. “Of course, Mr. Murphy.” She doesn’t ask why. Smart woman.

I give her a curt nod and head back toward the elevator. Halfway down the hall, I realize I came looking for Nash, couldn’t find him, and then instructed his supervisor to send him to me.

Explaining Daniela would be reasonable, considering I just asked him to dinner, but that isn’t the only reason I came down here. I wanted to see him again. I still have no idea what I’m going to say when Nash walks through my office door. I only know I want him to.

Chapter 9 Nash

I walk out of Murphy Enterprises without looking back. I told Caroline I was heading to lunch, and technically, I am. I’m just not coming back afterward. I’ll give it twenty minutes, then call and tell her there’s been a family emergency. The family-emergency excuse is a lie, but it’s a hell of a lot less embarrassing than telling her I quit because I made an idiot out of myself over Duncan Murphy.

Tonight I’ll email my resignation, effective immediately with no notice. Quitting like this is a complete dick move, especially after Caroline gave me this job, but I can’t keep showing up every day and pretending none of this bothers me.

Duncan asked me out, and for a few glorious minutes, I actually thought this might be real. Then Daniela walked in looking like she belonged in his office, his life and probably on his arm at every black-tie event in Philadelphia. I got the message.

I climb into my truck and rest my forehead against the steering wheel. Fucking hell. I should’ve known better than to let a fantasy involving my very straight, very unavailable boss get this far. I start the engine and pull out of the parking garage. Leaving the job was always the plan. I just didn’t expect Duncan Murphy to be the reason I finally did it.

By the time I pull into my apartment complex, I’ve made up my mind. I call Caroline before I even unlock my front door and give her the family-emergency excuse, apologizing for leaving her shorthanded and promising my resignation will be in her inbox tonight. She deserves better than a no-call, no-show.

Instead of accepting it, she sighs. “Nash, are you sure? Mr. Murphy came down here looking for you.”

My hand stills on the doorknob. “He… what?”

“He asked me to send you back up to his office when you got back from lunch.”

My grip tightens around the phone. “I have no idea why.” He asked me out, but when Daniela walked in looking entirely too comfortable in his office, I was the one who left.

Caroline lowers her voice. “He wasn’t happy you were gone.”

I let out a quiet laugh. “I highly doubt the CEO of Murphy Enterprises is concerned about his lunch delivery guy.”

“You should’ve seen him.”

“I don’t need to.” If I let myself read anything into Duncan coming after me, that resignation email is never getting sent.

Caroline is quiet for a moment. “I told him you were at lunch. Then twenty minutes later you called with a family emergency.”

Shit. I lean against the doorframe and close my eyes. “I promise you, Caroline. It’s just a coincidence.”

The call ends. I toss my keys onto the kitchen counter and lean against it, staring out the window. Murphy Enterprises was never supposed to become permanent. I took the job to get close to my target, and a few weeks after I’d passed judgment, justice was served. I could’ve left then. Instead, I kept showing up.

Five years ago, when Joey died, I stopped making plans for my own future. I went from one target to another, one support group to the next, always focused on what needed to be done. Somewhere along the way, five minutes with Duncan every weekday became part of that routine. Apparently, I got used to looking forward to it. Fuck. Leaving really is the right thing to do.

A little retail therapy is in order. I kick off my shoes, flop onto the couch, and pull out my phone. Within seconds, I’m scrolling through my favorite online toy shop. Some people stress-buy shoes. Others collect watches. I, apparently, collect silicone and lace.

My collection is already impressive enough that organizing it has become its own project, but there’s always another color, shape, or feature I can convince myself is absolutely essential.

If my growing collection of silicone and lace doesn’t scream single, I don’t know what does. I keep scrolling, but a red silicone plug somehow turns into Duncan standing in his office with his shirt unbuttoned. For fuck’s sake.

I toss my phone onto the couch beside me. I haven’t had a Friday afternoon off in a long time. Working four ten-hour days usually makes going out on Friday more exhausting than enjoyable, but today I suddenly have nowhere else to be.

I make my way to my bedroom and collapse onto the mattress. The Velvet Collar hosts a Daddy & Boy social every Friday, and it’s been ages since I’ve gone. The last time, I was so exhausted from work that I spent more time nursing a drink and people-watching than actually enjoying myself. Maybe tonight I’ll do better.

I groan and throw an arm over my eyes when Duncan and Daniela immediately invade my thoughts again. Fuck this. I’m going out. I’ll take a nap, get dressed, and go find myself a Daddy for the night who isn’t Duncan Murphy.

When I wake a few hours later, going to the club still sounds like a damn good idea.