Page 53 of Crossing Arizona

Devon and I both lunge forward to help him up; our hands outstretched at the same time.

“Don’t touch me,” Xed hisses, cradling his face. Devon ignores him, wrapping an arm around Xed’s bicep to help him stand.

“Didn’t you hear him?” I growl, grabbing Devon’s arm. “He said not to touch him!”

“I wasn’t talking to Devon,” Xed snaps, glaring at me with one bloodshot eye. He swats my hand away and leans heavily into Devon, getting to his feet. My heart drops into my stomach as he turns his face toward me, blood streaming down his cheek from a jagged gash above his eye, where his eyebrow piercing used to be.

“Xed, I—" My throat tightens as I stammer. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t aiming for you, I swear.”

I reach out, desperate to cradle his face to assess the damage, but he flinches away like my touch burns him.

“Why were you even aiming at all?!” His voice is sharp and raw, cutting me deeper than any blow could.

He backs away, clutching the wound on his brow as blood drips onto the dusty ground. His every step feels like a dagger twisting in my chest.

“Just... leave me the hell alone, Matty.”

The words land like a final blow, and I’m too stunned to respond, watching helplessly as he climbs onto the back of Devon’s bike. Blood stains his shirt, his hand still pressed to his brow, and my heart shatters as they peel out, kicking up a cloud of dust.

I stand frozen, staring after them, my chest hollow, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

College Junior Year

Chapter twenty-four

“There.”

Setting down the hammer, I stand back and study the Children At Play sign on Hannah’s bedroom door. We’d stolen it from an abandoned elementary school last weekend to commemorate her transition from a crib to a big-girl bed. Can’t believe she’s two years old already.

Matty chuckles, leaning against the wall with his massive forearms folded over his bare chest. “Do you ever think maybe we’re getting too old for this?”

“What, stealing street signs?” At his nod, I scoff. “Nah. I’ll be grabbing traffic cones off the highway when I’m sixty.”

“I’m surprised we’ve never been caught.” Shaking his head, my best friend yawns with a stretch, the grey sweatpants riding low enough on his hips for me to barely make out a light strip of pubic hair before he tugs them up, and I quickly glance away, clearing my throat.

“Good thing we’re sneaky. Well, I am. You’re an elephant with those big shoes.”

He grimaces, gazing down at said feet forlornly. “Hannah’s got them, too. I gave my daughter clown feet.”

“Yeah, but it made teaching her to walk easier.”

Putting the toolbox back in the hall closet, I stare into her room, suddenly hating the quiet. Tonight’s the first night we’ve had to ourselves in...well, probably since her birth. We finally felt like she was old enough to spend a whole night at Jenna’s, and now I don’t know what to do with myself.

“I miss her, too,” Matty says softly, following my gaze, and I simply nod before reaching up to push the hair from my eyes. I need to shave it again.

“So, what now? We’ve got the whole house to ourselves.”

He flashes me a crooked grin, making my stomach flip as he waggles his brows. “We could get some beer? Order pizza and get wild?”

His voice lowers almost suggestively, and my gaze inadvertently drops to the dick imprint in his sweats before I turn away to hide my face.

Most days, it’s easy to forget, to distract myself with Hannah and shove the memories behind a steel door. We haven’t touched each other like that in over two years. Not only was Hannah in our room for her first six months but almost every night since, one of us has brought her into bed for snuggles. Getting her used to sleeping alone is going to be tough, but...it gets harder and harder to keep how much I crave him under lock and key.

“Sure, Matty. Let’s get wild.”

We both passed out on the couch by seven-thirty.

The crick in my neck wakes me up, groaning as I blink into the dark living room, overheated and sweaty. The movie we’d been watching on Netflix, Spirited Away, must have ended some time ago because something else is playing I don’t recognize. Beneath me, Matty is snoring like a freight train, and that’s when I realize that I’m practically on top of him, cheek to chest. He’s got a heavy arm around my waist, so I try to lift myself up gingerly, but he grumbles and crushes me tighter against him, widening his legs to make room for mine.