Page 118 of Crossing Arizona

Sighing, I rub my eyes, exhausted from the last twenty-four hours. “I’ll clean it up. You take her to bed.”

Matty smiles, looking as tired as I feel. He leans down to kiss me softly, making my stomach flip, before carrying her up the stairs. I watch them go, my lips twitching when the duck waddles after them like he’s already chosen his person.

I can’t believe I adopted a duck.

Shaking my head, I make my way into the kitchen to grab some cleaning supplies, catching sight of my phone on the counter. There are about a million missed texts from Salem, and I tell her to stop being annoying before getting everything mopped up.

I’m nearly falling over by the time I’m done, limbs protesting with every step I take upstairs. Though I’ve never been here before, it’s not hard to find Hannah’s room—pink light floods out into the hall, and the Children At Play sign hangs on her door. Matty must have put it there.

My throat tightens, remembering our life in our townhome back in Utah, and I clear it softly before stepping inside.

Hannah’s buried under plush purple covers, the duck soundly asleep on her chest, while Matty sits on the side of her bed with his head in his hands. He looks up, blue eyes crinkling at the corners when he spots me.

“Hey,” he whispers, reaching out a hand. “She woke up for a second when the duck hopped on the bed. She asked if he was a chicken.”

With a snort, I lean into him, gazing over Hannah’s room. It looks similar to her old one, only more shark stuffies litter the floor. For some reason, she’s fascinated with them. Even her lamp is a pink Hammerhead with heart eyes. “It’s cozy in here.”

Matty nods, huffing a laugh as he stretches with a groan. “I think we have a future marine biologist on our hands.”

We.

My breath catches, and I glance down to see him watching me closely. A crooked smile pulls at his lips when he stands, pulling me toward the door. “Come on, let’s get some rest.”

He leads me down the hall, where two rooms sit adjacent, one completely empty. When I raise a brow at him in question, he shifts uncomfortably. “That was, uh…Valerie’s room. We didn’t share.”

“Oh.”

Opening his door, he pulls me inside, and once again, my lungs constrict when I take in all our road signs hanging from the walls. Pictures, too, of Hannah with our friends over the years, and even a drawing of the two of us above his bed. It’s anime-style; my mohawk is outrageously huge, while Matty looks jacked as hell. Huckslee’s signature is at the bottom.

“When did you commission this?” I ask, pointing to it.

He shrugs, eyeing it affectionately. “I didn’t. Tay sent it to me after I left your apartment all those months ago.”

“Seriously? How come I didn’t get one?” Asshole.

“He said to show you when I saw you next.” Matty tugs at his hair as he scans the room. “I’ve got all our signs hung…except one. But maybe now that we have the duck, we can put it somewhere.”

Spinning on his heel, he turns toward a walk-in closet to the left, and I follow close behind, already knowing what sign he’s talking about.

Kneeling down, he digs through some boxes before pulling the Duck Crossing sign out of the back.

“I couldn’t look at this one,” he murmurs, reaching out to take my hand. “It hurt too much, Ducky. This sign reminds me of everything we had, everything I lost because I was a dumbass.”

“You were,” I agree, lifting the corner of my mouth as I squeeze his fingers. “But… I get it, baby. You had Hannah to think about. Parenting is hard.”

“It’s so hard,“ he groans, dropping his forehead to my chest. “And complicated. But you’ve been with me every step of the way.”

“Of course I have. We’re partners.”

He’s quiet for a moment, his head rubbing back and forth against my sternum. “Partners. Best friends. Boyfriends.” Lifting his head, he raises the sign between us. “Husbands?”

Inhaling sharply, I choke on my spit, covering my mouth to cough as I scowl at him. “That’s not funny, Matthew.”

“I’m not joking.” Licking his lips, he glances down at the sign before meeting my gaze once again. “I know this is quick, and I don’t have a ring, but Xed… you’re everything to me. My world, my other half, the father of our daughter. I’ve spent my whole life running from this love we have, and I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t want to fight.”

I blink at him for several seconds, my hands beginning to shake. “Matty, marriage is… big.”

He nods slowly. “Yeah. It is. But I haven’t made this easy on us, and I want to show you I’m all in this time. No more hiding. I want the world to know what you are to me.” A soft, crooked smile pulls at his lips when he lifts a shoulder. “We’ve already been raising a daughter together. How much bigger can marriage be?”