Page 111 of Crossing Arizona

Our silent conversation continues until, somewhere in the distance, a duck’s quack breaks the tension.

I can’t help it. A snorting laugh crawls up my throat, causing me to bump his nose when I raise my hand to cough.

“You’re such an asshole,” he mutters, but his mouth twitches into a smile, his anger melting into something tender. “A big, clumsy asshole, Matty.”

“Yeah,” I agree, dipping my head until our lips softly brush. “But I’m your clumsy asshole, Ducky.”

Chapter forty-five

Ihad every intention of telling Matty off tonight.

The moment I boarded the plane to Phoenix, I was livid. My mind raced with reasons why he’d admit, in front of the entire world, that he was in love with a man. I tried to denounce it for the entire two-hour flight, make excuses, and poke holes in his story.

But then something my therapist said started rattling around in my head.

“Why do you feel you’re unworthy?”

The answer had been immediate. “Because Pearl told me so.”

“And where is she now?”

“Hell, probably.”

Dr. Hart had leaned back in her chair, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Let me try a different direction. Other than your aunt’s words, what is it about you that you feel isn’t worth love?”

I’d scoffed, slumping deeper into my seat. “Matty sure as shit didn’t think so, or he’d be here with me.”

“Hmm.” She’d tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Do you feel you deserve him?”

The question had blindsided me, and I’d reeled back in disbelief. “I mean…yeah. I’ve done everything for him. Done everything with him. Of course I deserve him.”

Dr. Hart had nodded, adjusting her glasses. “And do you think he feels he deserves you?”

I hadn’t been able to answer.

She’d even assigned me homework—write down what I thought Matty deserved in my journal. I’d spent the entire weekend glaring at a blank page, the question gnawing at me.

And that’s when the answer hit. I can’t decide what Matty deserves. He’s got to figure that out for himself.

Things aren’t perfect. I’m still learning to cope with the shit life’s thrown at me, but maybe so is he. And maybe, for the first time, we’re finally in a place to hash it all out. Together.

Which is how I found myself standing at his front door with a fucking duck in my arms.

After that talk—that mind-blowing, life-changing breakthrough—we’re both stripped bare, with no walls between us. And the moment his lips crash against mine, I know I’m done running.

“I’m your clumsy asshole, Ducky.”

Yeah, he fucking is. He’s mine. And I’m never letting him go again.

“Missed you so goddamn much,” I mumble, backing him into the counter until he hits it with a soft thud. “So much, baby.”

“I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, fumbling with my jacket, shoving it off my shoulders in desperation.

I shut him up the only way I know how—by fucking my tongue into his mouth, stealing every apology before it can leave his lips.

“Shh, no more sorries. We’re done with that.”

He kisses me back fervently as his hands slide down to grip my ass. When I growl low, he lifts me into his arms, and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist, locking him in place. His hard cock grinds against mine, a whimper leaving his throat.