Page 78 of How To Tempt A Bodyguard

"Did you love her?"

"No."

A relief washed over her.

"For how long were you involved?"

"Almost a decade. Off and on. When I was in the area."

A decade. The word landed like a stone.

"How often?"

"Maybe twice a year. Three times at most." He paused. "Work kept me occupied. When I visited the lads, if she was willing and available, we had each other. If she wasn't, I didn't press."

Florence swallowed a lump in her throat. Her nose stung. A decade. Two to three times a year. We had each other.

"When did it end?"

"Three years ago."

"Why?"

Another pause. Longer this time.

"I stopped."

"Why?"

He was quiet for so long she thought he wouldn't answer.

"I don't know," he said finally. "Lost the taste for casual interactions." He shifted slightly. "Haven't touched anyone since. Until you."

She should feel reassured. Instead, she felt the weight of a decade. Ten years of habit and comfort and easy familiarity. If not love, it must have been extraordinary fondness to return to the same woman year after year, all the way to Scotland. And he stayed celibate rest of the year when he couldn’t have her.

Her heart squeezed painfully and made her flinch. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling to distract herself.

Would he go back? When this was over, when she was safe, when there was no mission binding them together. Why wouldn't he return to what he knew?

"Your friends," she said, pushing past the knot, the pain. "Why didn’t you tell them the truth about us?"

"I will." His voice was matter of fact. "Brennan, Tam, Duff. Those three I trust with anything. The others are newer. Once we're across the border, once you're safe, I'll tell them."

I will tell them.

The words echoed in her head, each one a small devastation.

He would acknowledge that this was a fiction, a convenience, a temporary arrangement. That when the mission ended, so did they.

She turned onto her side again, facing away from him.

"Florence?"

She didn't answer.

"Florence. What's wrong?"

The question hung in the darkness. She didn’t want to talk about it. Confirm what she suspected already. But she was Madam Tansley. She'd never avoided difficult situations.