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And Dylan did. Again and again until they passed out on Henri’s mess of a hotel bed, curled around each other, sweaty and sated.

CHAPTER 48

abqturkeysnhl (January 14, 2024): The Turkeys fall 1-2 to the Bay Area Brawlers. The lone goal came from defenseman Mark Moody. Gibbs faced 30 shots in net, including 5 high-danger ones. Join us tomorrow night when we face the Orange County Mallards!

turkeytalk (January 14, 2024): How to judge the success of a Turkeys’ game:

Did the Turkeys win → Yes → Yay!

Did the Turkeys win → No → Did Dylan Everett score? → Yes → Yay!

Did the Turkeys win → No → Did Dylan Everett score? → No → :(

We are in the last one. It sucks and I hate it here. The Brawlers aren’t even a good team this season wtf.

↪ gobblegoals: the big guy is probably exhausted from carrying the team for the past decade. don’t think he or the turkeys had a bad game. needed a little puck luck and didn’t get it.

abqturkeysnhl (January 17, 2024): The Turkeys win 3-2 over the Mallards! Goals from Everett, Watkins, and Brandt. This is Everett’s 12th consecutive NHL season reaching the 40-goal plateau. The Turkeys return to Albuquerque with 4 points off of their California road trip.

↪ turkeytalk: That’s 12 for 12. I know we’re maybe eight years away from seeing it, but that man will break the all time goal record mark my words.

↪ gobblegoals: you take your jinxes the fuck out of here wtf is wrong with you

↪ turkeytalk: I call them like I see them. The stats don’t lie. Barring a serious injury, the big guy is playing until he’s 40. 22 seasons at 40+ goals per season is 880 goals. Goal record is 902. Not saying it’ll be easy, but it’s doable.

↪ gobblegoals: you’re saying Dylan Everett will be scoring 40+ goals per season when he’s in his late 30s? c’mon.

↪ turkeytalk: He’s the GOAT. Gotta believe.

↪ gobblegoals: In 10 years, I’m digging up this post and blasting you.

↪ turkeytalk: It’s a date ;)

Nover (January 2024)

Kathy wants to know if you’d like to come over for dinner

I tried to tell her that you’re a very busy man

But it’s hard to cover for you when I can’t say the real reason you’re busy

And just have to imply you’re getting laid left right and center

Mostly center

Dylan

Ha ha ha you’re so fucking clever

I was next door to you in Anaheim

It’s a nice hotel but the walls ain’t THAT thick

So don’t pretend I’m off base here

Please tell your lovely wife that she married an asshole

And while I would love to hang out with her to bitch about you