Page 373 of Commanding Blood And Bonds

He smoothed the hair from my face as I wept into his shoulder.

I didn’t deserve his kindness.

Didn’t deserve him.

But gods help me, I didn’t know how to let go either.

I’d slept with Aren’s enemy. Bound myself to him to save his fucking life—when the whole time he was out there hurting people, killing people. Oh gods.

My skin started to crawl, and I wanted to sob for an entirely different reason.

It didn’t compute. The man I knew—the nomad with the hard-earned smile, who liked HGTV and argued with Blythe over counter selections and paint samples. The man who saved me from monsters more times than I could count. It didn’t make sense.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, trying and failing to hold back the hysterics. My lips trembled as tears burned. “For everything, Aren. Gods, you deserve so much better.”

“Shhh, Mags,” he said softly, those beautiful pale blues softening as he shook his head.

There he was. My Aren. The man who chased me in the pouring rain. The one who earned my laughter, who wrapped my entire hierarchy around his strong, beautiful fingers. Who loved so deeply he flayed himself open for me—even as I ran.

“Don’t,” he breathed. “Don’t do that to yourself, baby. We make our choices, and then we figure out how to live with them. We do not torture ourselves over decisions already minted.”

“I should’ve done things differently.”

“I believe we have that in common.”

“What? Aren, you loved me so loudly, and I didn’t see—” The mate bond. Gods, I felt so foolish. My gaze fell to his chest, guilt gnawing at my belly. “I didn’t see it.”

“I didn’t say it,” he replied with a shrug, though it couldn’t hide the agony in his eyes. “Not directly. And I’ll be honest—subtlety’s never been my strong suit. I was afraid I’d scare you off. I should’ve told you.”

“You did, though. In all the ways that matter, you did. I just…” I swallowed hard. “That kind of love didn’t exist in my world. I never thought it would, not for me. I never thought…someone like you…”

“If it means anything…me either. God, baby, I should’ve chased you.”

“I would’ve kept running,” I said with a weak smile, shaking my head. “Bell—he tried to send me back. Called me a fool. Told me to go home. Begged me to believe you and stop challenging fate.”

With every word, Aren’s expression darkened, the pinch in his brow deepening. But he listened. Gods, he listened. That alone was more than I deserved.

“I should’ve followed.”

“I should’ve stayed. Should’ve come back. That moment has replayed in my head a dozen times, and I hate myself more with every⁠—”

“Please,” he cut in, shaking his head. “Please don’t say that. You are my everything, Mags. It took two of us to make this mess. Learn. Learn what you need. Learn what you want. Learn from your mistakes as well as your victories. But don’t waste another moment berating yourself.”

I nodded, throat tight, and nuzzled into his palm, breathing in his scent. “I’m so sorry I walked away. I panicked, Aren. I panicked, and I broke us.”

“Broke us?” he repeated, brows raising. “Mags, you cannot break what God meant for you to have. Period. What is intended for you cannot be stolen. Your choices may have delayed the us I wanted, but I made mine with a clear mind and a convicted soul—and I stand by it.”

He gently tucked chaotic strands of hair behind my ear, those glorious hands trailing down my neck, across my collarbones, and to my shoulders. As if he needed to feel I was still whole. Still here.

“You are worth waiting for, Magnolia Green. My love for you isn’t so feeble it withers in a storm. It weathers it. Always. Whether we find our way home in this life—or I have to wait for my next—I’ll still be yours, Mags. The moment you want that.”

My voice wobbled as much as my lip. “How can you mean that?”

“I’ve had a long time to think. And I will never cower from the price required to earn you. Not ever.”

I raised my hands to his, threading our fingers together as we steadied our breaths.

“What happens now?” I asked softly.