Page 372 of Commanding Blood And Bonds

Gods, it would’ve been easier if he’d shouted. If he’d raged. But his voice was calm. Disciplined. Like he’d decided he couldn’t fault me for it.

“He’s a part of you,” he said.

“He was in my house with his cousins,” I protested. “I didn’t seek him out. You have to believe me.”

“But you love him.”

It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “I love Bell, yes. He’s saved me more times than I can count, in more ways than I can articulate. But I’m not in love with him. Not like I love you.”

“Please don’t.”

The crack in his voice had tears stinging my eyes.

“I just need you to understand. He’s alive because the threads show that his life gives you and Blythe yours. If that changes...I won’t interfere if Ally decides to execute him. That’s her call. He’s her prisoner.”

My head snapped up. Aren lifted his bloodshot winter blues to meet mine. Cold. Commander-level detached. My Aren was gone. This was the man the battlefield worshipped. Controlled. Calculated.

“He isn’t who he told you he was,” Aren said. “And I know you don’t want to hear that—especially not from me—but Alvara will explain. He’s not a good man. And if I were you, I’d want this to be about us. I’d want it to be personal. But it’s not. It’s about what the Balaskas have taken from us. The war they’re about to wage on the world. And I need you to believe that.”

“This isn’t right,” I whispered. My throat burned. “He can’t be—he’s not—he is a good man. He saved me, Aren. In more ways than one. He⁠—”

“Was trying to acquire you .” His voice cut through me like ice. “Fuck, I didn’t want to be the one to break your heart, baby. But he was using you. This is war, Mags. And it was brilliant. Ruthless. But brilliant. I probably should’ve sent Ansel to say all this—but I couldn’t leave you. Couldn’t breathe without being near you.”

He exhaled, yanking his hands through his hair.

“You are an asset to him, Magnolia. A key in the prophecy he gave Alvara about stopping the horsemen. When he couldn’t get Ally and August on his side, he came for you. You were his backup plan.” Aren shook his head. “But Ally can’t tell whether it’s you or Blythe who matters more. And he couldn’t either. That’s why he stayed. To figure out who would win the King’s favor.”

As much as I wanted to deny it, I saw the sincerity in Aren’s eyes. The pain of it.

Was it all a lie? Every moment with Bell—had he planned it? Was it really a coincidence he was waiting in that alley…?

No. He wouldn’t have let me be violated. Not like that. I knew him. He’d killed men for less.

But…was that all he was, then? A killer?

I thought I knew him…

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Aren said softly.

“I didn’t know,” I whispered, lungs crushed under the horrible weight of it. “I swear, I didn’t know. I thought⁠—”

“Shh, I know. I know, Mags. If it were up to me, I’d kill him just for hurting you.”

He reached toward me—then stopped. Arms folded tightly across his chest, holding himself together.

“Aren,” I whispered, pain slicing through me, fracturing my voice. I couldn’t stop the memories—every kiss, every laugh, every stupid, joyful moment. I’d broken everything. “Please.”

“Can I touch you?” he asked quietly. The fact that he felt he had to ask shattered something inside me. I nodded, tears pouring down my cheeks.

He slid onto the bed beside me like I was made of glass. Gently—always so fucking gently—he cupped my face in his broad, careful hands. His thumbs brushed over my cheekbones, and I broke.

I’d broken him.

Monster.

Only a monster could leave a man like Aren so fractured.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. “I thought I lost you,” he whispered. “I thought I lost you last night. And then you showed up—dying—and I just…”