Page 257 of Double or Nothing

That’s what I want to say.

For you and Jack.

Bryce bites his lip. Closes his eyes.

“I’m not Christopher Otley,” he says. “I just wish I could be. Believe me, Alice, if I could be a man like him, I’d have been one for you already. A long, long time ago.”

He doesn’t let me stop him leaving this time.

I stand in the cupboard with my back against the wall, trying to stop the tears streaming and ruining the charade.

Christopher’s ring.

Dad’s family alliance.

Mum’s perfect future.

The final wish Trevor never voiced, because it was all fucking fake in the first place.

Bryce’s devastated face.

I have to dash for the bathroom before I throw up. I manage to make it. The one off to the side of the entrance hall, that barely anyone ever uses.

Six courses of cuisine spew out of me in huge retches, until there is nothing left.

When the sickness stops, I pull myself upright using the sink.

My reflection looks back at me.

Neat hair.

Green dress.

Diamond earrings.

The future Mrs Christopher Otley.

Yesterday, I drew three hands linked beneath Jack’s kitchen lights because I wanted the moment to survive.

Now, one of those hands is wearing another man’s ring.

A knock sounds at the door.

“Alice?” Mum calls. “Darling, are you alright?”

Everyone is waiting for me to return. I can hear it in her voice. Another round of cheers and expectation.

Christopher believes I’m his. Signed, sealed and delivered.

Dad believes the merger is safe.

Bryce is gone.

Jack doesn’t know yet.

I stare at my reflection through the tears. No, I’m not alright. Not in the slightest.

Yesterday, I drew the life I wanted.