Page 180 of Double or Nothing

“Look, Alice. I’m not pissing about when I say it. We’re all playing a game. Your father is playing his, all set to win the Parker championship. Christopher bastard Otley is probably playing his own grow old and get rich game, wherever he is. Bryce is playing at being the loyal assistant, pretending he doesn’t want to upend the whole table, and you’re playing the dutiful daughter who’s going to turn up to marry a stranger, even though you’d rather set fire to the church than say I do.”

She looks like she wants to set me on fire right now.

“And you, Jack? What’s your game? What are you playing?”

I smile.

“The fun one. The one with easy wins, big cashouts, and no emotional baggage.”

“Jack!”

“What?”

Damn her. She simply sits there and waits, blue eyes on mine, giving the silence the opportunity to strip away every cocky comeback in my arsenal.

I look at the Toastique Pro. The ridiculous thing looks so deluxe beneath the island spotlights.

“It’s just a shame,” I say eventually.

“What is?”

“You two have been dealt a fantastic set of cards, you just won’t use them.”

“What do you mean?”

I look right at her.

“You and Bryce have the best hand at the table. You’ve had it for years. You know it. He knows it. You’re both just so institutionalised by bullshit, you won’t play it.”

Alice looks towards the bedroom.

“And so we come back to the same question. What about you?” she asks. “What hand have you got? What cards have you been dealt in all this?”

I give her my brightest smile.

“I haven’t got any. I’m just the joker.”

“Great, thank you. Well, you’re not being much of a joker right now.”

“I can’t help that. I am what I am.”

“Yeah, emotionally avoidant and too scared to admit it.”

“Damn, you nailed it.”

I fake a shot to the heart.

“You’re not just a joker, Jack. You’re a human being, just like the rest of us.”

I meet her eyes at that line. Unabashed and unafraid.

I’m not lying when it comes to the joker, but she’s the one who doesn’t understand it.

The joker is a useful card.

A dangerous card.

A card that changes the game, then sneaks back into the pack when the other players try to recollect their stances. Most of them never manage the comeback.