Page 40 of Safe With You

“Yeah.”

She nodded like that made perfect sense before taking another bite of pancake.

“I was too.”

I watched her for a moment before finally picking up my own fork.

Mila could miss her mother one minute and laugh over something small the next without treating one feeling like a betrayal of the other.

I was still learning how to do that.

Some mornings, remembering Elena settled over the house like a weight neither of us knew what to do with. Other mornings, it felt more like she’d simply pulled up a chair at the table with us, smiling because we’d remembered the sacrificial pancake again.

Mila carried her plate to the sink with both hands, setting it down with a clink that made me glance over.

“Careful.”

“I was.”

She hurried back to the table and pulled her coloring book closer, scattering crayons across the space where her plate had been. Within seconds, she was bent over the same dinosaur she’d been working on all week, changing colors every few strokes as though she hadn’t decided what kind of dinosaur it was yet.

Saturday mornings usually settled into this kind of quiet once breakfast was over. Mila colored or watched cartoons while I answered emails and caught up on whatever work I had put off during the week.

I reached for the laptop at the end of the table and opened it.

The last handful of photographs from Tuesday night’s open mic waited where I’d left them.

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

She held up the page for my inspection.

“Can dinosaurs be pink?”

I looked from the coloring book to her hopeful face.

“I don’t see why not.”

“I knew it.”

The grin that spread across her face told me she’d already colored it pink before asking.

I smiled to myself and turned my attention back to the laptop.

I moved through the final images, making small adjustments as familiar moments from the evening filled the screen. Rachel smiling after her reading. Mrs. Williams pretending no one had noticed her tears. Denise laughing beside the stage.

I realized I’d been smiling at the screen longer than I’d intended.

“You smiling.”

I looked up.

Mila was watching me now instead of coloring.

“I am?”

“Yes.”