Page 281 of Safe With You

The words settled between us.

For years, I’d thought that was what knowing somebody meant. Knowing when they needed space. Knowing when they wanted attention. Knowing when to ask and when not to. Knowing how to keep things good.

“I thought if I paid enough attention, I could keep us from getting to the bad parts.”

“And did it work?”

I smiled, but there was nothing funny in it.

“For a while.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I looked at him.

“No.”

He nodded once.

I leaned back against the couch.

“I know how it sounds.”

“How does it sound?”

“Like I spent five years trying to earn a relationship I was already in.”

He didn’t answer immediately.

I stared toward the television even though I couldn’t tell him what was on it now.

“I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing until after it was over. I just thought relationships took work.”

“They do.”

I looked at him.

“They do,” he said again. “But that’s not the same thing.”

“As what?”

“Working for your place in one.”

Something in my chest tightened.

Ellis turned toward me a little more.

“You don’t have to earn me, Luna.”

The words landed harder than they should have.

Maybe because they were too close to something I’d been trying not to name.

I looked away.

“You make that sound easy.”

“No.”