Page 86 of Those That Defy the Realm

“How can I sit here and do nothing?” I ask her, feeling like a pup; lost and unable to take action when my world is at risk of being blown apart.

“You’re not doing nothing. It may feel that way because you’re not in the midst of the action. But that call has got Mitch onto the team heading to the continent.” She stands out of her chair and comes round to perch on the arm of mine, putting her arm around my shoulders.

“What if something happens to her?” The itch under my skin has come back with a vengeance in the last few hours. I need eyes on both my mates, it’s the only thing that soothes it.

“We don’t have any reason to believe that she’s in trouble. I know it’s hard but staying here is the right choice, for now.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” I say petulantly.

My mother huffs a small laugh. “I haven’t had to worry about any of the pack being off this island for decades. But there was a time, at the end of the war, when your brothers were still on the continent after we’d left for the Northern Isles, do you remember?”

Drudging the memories from furthest recesses of my mind, I do vaguely recall a couple of weeks during our relocation where Colton, Rune, and Kai weren’t with us. “Yeah.”

“I sat up so many nights just waiting for them to arrive. Much of the communication streams had been cut off or disrupted because of the fighting. There were days we didn’t hear from them. I worried that I would miss the tug telling me they were in danger, or worse, if I was sleeping. Even with your father and I taking shifts, I couldn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time.”

Reciprocating my mother’s embrace, I wrap my arm around her waist and lean my head onto her shoulder. “But they all arrived safe and sound.”

“They did. Doesn’t mean I didn’t keep a boat fully stocked and ready to depart should I feel any of them in danger.”

She gives me another squeeze before standing. Her words are ticking over in my brain. She heads for the door to leave the office but turns back just before opening the door. “Take battery packs, keep your phone charged, your location tracker on. And know that I can feel you. I won’t be able to send a rescue but I can shield the pack if the worst happens.”

Our eyes lock and I have to swallow at the emotion suddenly clogging my throat. Her gaze mists over as well. This won’t be the final time I see her, I refuse to let that happen, but we both know I’m planning to leave no matter what Morris just told me.

“I love you,” I tell her.

“I love you too, son. Don’t be reckless, but go claim your mates.” She gives me a soft smile before leaving me alone.

Opening the laptop once more, I get planning.

And it’s not a moment too soon as not two hours later a sharp pain cuts through my head. It's so acute my breathing stops.

Claire!

CHAPTER 30

CLAIRE

The first buildings of West Scotia city come into view as the ferry glides along the north coast of the continent. Sitting on the outside deck at the front of the boat, the sea breeze blows my hair back and the salty air hits my cheeks like ice.

It also quickly dries the tears as they escape and roll down my face. Or maybe it’s freezing them in place, the temperature has dropped enormously since I was last here with the winter taking hold. I should probably go below deck but the raw, bitter air feels like the only thing keeping me strong.

This morning I’d woken up early, feeling settled in my decision. I’d fallen asleep not many hours earlier after drawing up about a hundred mental lists, and dreaming up all the possible scenarios that were being laid in front of me.

I’d finally succumbed to sleep to one particularly good scenario; of Henry, Ash, and me living a fairytale, the happiest of happily ever afters, together. We’d build a life between Froan and the Northern Isles, surrounded by Ash’s family and the one being built by my best friend. My family, too, would decide to accept their true heritage and turn with me. I’d felt the centuries laid out in front of us and it filled me with a rare sense of joy and excitement that didn’t come with a side note of caution.

Giving up my mortality shouldn’t hinge on the two males I’d fallen in love with, and to some extent it didn’t. I also wanted the opportunities extending my life would bring, I wanted to hold onto my friendships as well. But Henry and Ash had become the centre of my world, so why shouldn’t I claim immortality so I could give them forever. Give us forever.

Returning to the ranch this morning, I’d finally felt free of my past, like I was ready to completely cut the chains and take the risk. I was going to ask Henry if he saw a mate bond in our future and was going to ask Rory when I could turn.

Only Henry hadn’t been where I thought he’d be. Finding him missing, and his bed already made, I’d gone to seek out my best friend. It didn’t matter who I asked first. But in my confusion about Henry being seemingly absent, I hadn’t knocked on Rory’s door. I’d simply opened it and shattered my heart and soul.

Seeing my boyfriend, and my best friend, curled up under the covers together is an image I shall never be able to scrub from my brain. It was the gut punch to the reality I’d started to forget always follows any joy. It’ll be my forever reminder that love always hurts.

I’ve made the same mistake twice now. And the pain of it this time is threatening to drown me entirely.

Running swiftly back out of the out house, I’d just started walking. I’d had zero destination in mind but knew I had to get as far away from them both as possible. No tears had threatened to fall. Sadness wasn’t the key emotion I’d felt in the moment. No, that had been anger.

Anger at them both.