Page 57 of Those That Defy the Realm

“It started off small. He’d make a comment here or there about my work, or my looks.”

Ash lets out a low growl and my fangs tingle in my upper jaw.

“Take your time,” I manage to say far more calmly than I’m feeling.

“I didn’t think much of it to start with. He’d suggest the activities we’d do, which nights we’d see each other. Then he started suggesting the clothes I should wear, what I should and shouldn’t eat.”

The growling gets louder and Claire goes quiet. I shoot Ash a glare, silently telling him to reign it in. Now that Claire is talking, I don’t want her to think we’re angry with her. Or to frighten her with the beasts we both are.

“You don’t have to tell us,” I reassure her, whilst hoping she carries on. As hard as this is to hear, I want to know the full story.

“There’s not much more to it. He was always subtle, suggestive rather than outright demanding. For months, anyway. I finally came to my senses when the summer trip we were planning suddenly became us dropping out of university and travelling the southern continent without an end date.”

“He wanted you to give up your life here?” I ask.

“Yes, essentially. Looking back, I can see how he just wanted me all to himself. I almost did it too. I was at home, at my parents’ house, when I was writing the email to the university to say I wasn’t going to be returning the following year. My brother David walked in, saw it, and pretty much lost it. It’s one of the only real fights we’ve had since we were children.”

“But he convinced you to stay?”

“Yeah, he pointed out how much I was saying ‘Declan wants to do this,’ or ‘Declan says that.’ I broke it off with Declan the next day. He disappeared on his trip and I’ve never heard from him since.”

“But he’s made you scared of getting into another relationship,” Ash concludes.

“Yes,” Claire confirms. “I don’t want to go through that kind of manipulation again; I know now that is what it was. But I also can’t trust myself. I still hear his voice sometimes. It makes me question every little thing.”

“Like how you apologised so much for not having matching underwear on that one time?” Ash says and suddenly all the pieces fall together in my head.

I want to end Declan for destroying Claire’s self-confidence. Rage like none I’ve felt before ignites in my gut.

“Yes.” Her voices cracks on the word, like it’s hard to admit even though she’s completely not in the wrong and shouldn’t feel ashamed. He manipulated her when she thought he was her loving boyfriend.

Moving my hand from Ash’s, I gently take her chin between my fingers and make her look at me, my heart near cracks at the tears welled in her emerald eyes. “What I’m going to say, I hope to only say once. But if you need, I shall repeat every single day. I do not give a fuck what you wear, what you eat, what you want to do with your life, you are the most beautiful female I have ever had the privilege of getting to know. You're gorgeous and I could worship your body for days, years, but you’re also the most caring, wonderful person. I only hope that I get to witness whatever it is that you’re going to achieve, and maybe be there to support it.”

She sniffs, trying to hold back the tears. On her other side, Ash moves closer, practically pinning her between us. “The same goes for me. I hope that when you’ve dressed up for our dates, it has been for you. Please never wear anything just because you think it’s something I want you to. And if I’ve ever made you feel out of control please tell me. I know I can be pushy, and a cocky shit at times.” Claire and I both laugh at that. “But it’s because I grew up with six siblings. Not to put blame on them but I learned to be assertive. I want you to be honest with me, always. If there’s ever anything you don’t want to do, I hope you know you can say no to me and I’ll back off, no questions asked.”

Claire twists in my grasp to face Ash, to look at the guilt written all over his face. “I have been honest, at least I haven’t ever disliked the things you’ve suggested. You’ve both helped me a lot actually.”

Hearing her gratitude doesn’t just warm my chest, it melts my heart into a mushy goo inside my ribcage.

“I’ve loved every second I’ve got to spend with you, both of you,” I tell them, the weight of our impending departures slamming into my mind.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Ash sits up fully now, crossing his legs and holding a finger out at us both. “This is heading into sounding like goodbye. Get sentimental all you want, but don’t act like this is coming to an end.”

“Isn’t it though?” I say. The looming deadline of mine and Ash’s departure is not something we can escape, no matter how happy and joyous these last few months have been.

“No. It doesn’t have to,” Ash replies.

“But you’re both leaving in a couple of weeks,” Claire adds.

“So? Have neither of you heard of long distance?” Ash huffs. “I wasn’t going to bring this up just yet but seeing as you both seem determined to doom this, but I want to make a plea before you fully put it in the ground.”

I move to sit as well, bending my full limb so my heel is near my crotch but keeping my other limb outstretched. Claire moves too, sitting to create a sort of triangle before I grab her and placing her in my lap. Her head comes to rest on my chest. I may have to say goodbye soon but I don’t want to let her go just yet, and not when she’s just shared the secrets of her past.

“Long distance isn’t easy, Ash,” I tell him. “Especialy when there’s no end in sight.”

“But there is an end. You’re only teaching in West Scotia for one more academic year. Then you’re moving here,” he argues back.

“You’ve not got that guarantee,” Claire says softly. We’re probably not supposed to divulge the plans we’re trying to implement with the Froan government but Claire isn’t just anybody, and we trust her. We’ve been telling her about our mission with the law changes for weeks now.