Page 44 of Those That Defy the Realm

I’m not irritated about that, I honestly wouldn’t care about spending time together and not hooking up, but she seems to think that if she can’t have sex, neither me or Ash wanted to see her. I tried getting her to let me go over to her place but she shut it down. I would’ve gone anyway but her parents are back from their cruise now, so the house is no longer empty twenty-four-seven. We’ve had to rely on Claire letting us know when they’re out or at work for us to sneak over as Claire didn’t want to explain our presence.

“I’m heading back to West Scotia,” I say like she doesn’t already know, as she eyes my rucksack and laptop bag.

“I hope you have a safe journey. The air is pretty still so the ferry should be smooth,” she says, like this goodbye isn’t a big deal. Like this isn’t the moment our agreement officially comes to an end. Not that I’m saying anything but I’m sure she can read the sorrow in my eyes as we stare at one another.

Would it be inappropriate to hug her? Fuck it. Dropping my bags, I round the table and fold her into my arms. I try to keep it brief, and the most platonic hug anyone has ever given another person, but I can’t help tilting my chin right down so my nose can inhale a deep hit of her scent.

She awkwardly puts her arms around me as well. When I pull away, I imagine that the lingering grasp of her hand on my side is one hundred percent intentional, that she does indeed feel as crappy as I do right now and doesn’t want me to leave.

“Come on, or you’ll miss your ferry,” Ty says.

I hug Rory tightly, telling her to message me if she needs to. She tells me that the only thing she needs is the updated version of my next book and that she’ll see me in a few days.

In a blur where I’m not truly conscious of my surroundings, I find myself walking out of the outbuilding, getting into a car with Ty and Antares, and the pair of them delivering me to the docks.

Watching them drive off only increases the feeling of wrongness taking over my entire body as I walk the short distance down the harbour from where cars are allowed, to where the passenger ferries are docked.

After scanning my ticket, I’m walking up the gangway as I hear my name being yelled. Turning, there is Ash. He’s leaning over the barrier separating the waiting area for ferry passengers and the rest of the harbour, hands cupped around his mouth and shouting to get my attention.

Shoving my way back down the entry, it’s like a moment from a romance novel as I launch into his arms, his own embrace holding me tightly. The metal barrier is hard against my hips but we don’t allow an inch of space between us, our chests melding into one.

“I thought I’d missed you. Those damn meetings go on for way too long.” Indeed, he’s panting like he’s just ran here from the centre of the city, the way his shirt is clinging to the sweat on his back confirms it.

“I’m so glad you made it,” I tell him, breathing him in, his scent is stronger with the exertion.

We pull back from the hug but he doesn’t let me go far. Cupping my face, he says the words my chest has been longing to hear but not brave enough to say. “This isn’t the end. One way or another I want to extend this stupid deal. I know we live in different places, but I’m willing to put in the effort if you are. What do you say?”

At least, that is what I imagine him saying. In reality, it’s not him at all yelling my name. It’s not even my name I can hear, it's workers of the ferry company yelling instructions at each other as I board the boat. I don’t go and find my cabin right away, I stay at the railings on the main deck instead, watching the dock and the surrounding street for any sign that Ash did come, hoping the scene in my head might get a chance to play out in real life.

Sadly, it doesn’t come true.

CHAPTER 16

ASH

Cutting my run short, I head back to my cabin to freshen up before I’m needed at the main lodge to start cooking dinner. My family all rejoiced at my return, and the fact that they’d get some decent food on time. It seems the rota they’d put in place in my absence had not gone smoothly. I knew some of my siblings could cook but they are apparently less good at time keeping.

It’s been a week since I left Froan and returned to our island along with the three other wolves that made the journey with me. I was happy to be home, don’t get me wrong, it was good to see my family after never having such a long break from them before. We might irritate each other occasionally, but we are as close as families get, probably closer, and being away from them has made me cherish the bonds we have.

However, something’s different here. The barren nature of the island is even more stark, the isolation feels like a constant cloud even though it's been several days of rare sunshine. The snow is gone, the fauna and crops are coming into full bloom, normally I’d feel jubilant at seeing the landscape come to life. This year, something’s missing. Part of me is missing, two parts if we are being specific.

It is no mystery to me why my feelings are dulled, and why I have this sense of melancholy that I just can’t shake. They’re not here. They’re not in a vicinity I can easily reach.

I didn’t even get to say a goodbye to Henry, seeing as I got stuck in a meeting with Morris and her crew that went on and on well past the time she’d told me it would finish. I’d known the ferry was going to be long out the harbour by the time I reached it, but it didn’t stop me from running there on my way back to the ranch from the council building where the meeting had been held.

We’d sent a few messages since his departure but it was mainly perfunctory. Confirmations of life, safe travels, work and the weather. I think from the lack of sentimentality, or even the usual how are you? I could guess that Henry was feeling about the same as I was. Or, at least, I could fool myself into thinking that for he was an attentive guy, his caring attitude was basically worn on his sleeve. For him to not ask meant that he wouldn’t like my answer. Or that he didn’t want to be asked the same question in return and have to either lie, or tell me a truth we’d promised not to say.

That stupid fucking deal.

I regret almost everything about it. I thought offering a no strings fling would get them both to relax, and that part did work. But it also seemed to erect a barrier, create a rule not to be broken.

Claire has taken it even more firmly than Henry has. She avoided me from the moment he left, even going as far as ignoring me entirely at a gathering the vampire pack arranged the night before my pack and I left. And believe me, I tried to get her alone.

Rules were made to be broken, at least this one was. I never intended the deadline to be real. I know we have issues, real issues, we live thousands of miles apart from one another, and we’re bound by the law, under threat of death, to remain apart. But when I think of the time we spent together, I can’t ignore the way my heart warms my blood as it pumps it around my body. The wolf in me too felt a kind of settled around them both that I’ve never experienced before.

I just had to figure out a way to get them both in a room again, the three of us alone. Which was going to prove a challenge seeing as I doubted either of them would be up for a holiday to my island any time soon, and I currently didn’t have the free rein to travel. It was a barrier I was working on. Henry was back in Froan once more, his business trip a short one. I need to get myself back there before the summer is over, ideally with a few weeks to play with, before Henry has to return to West Scotia in the fall for his teaching commitments.

Using the back entrance to the communal lodge my family uses for our evening meals, I walk into the kitchen area to the surprise of seeing my mother sitting at the table closest to the cooking units.