Page 68 of Hell’s Weapon

It’s not okay. I want to scream. Nothing about my past is okay. Nothing about my present is either, but I’ve been pretending.

“What was that?” Wyatt’s muffled voice hits my ears as I bury deeper under the covers.

“Clearly talking about family is a trigger for him,” Tacita tsks.

“Oh.”

The mattress dips more and then I’m being bundled up, bedding too, until I’m on Wyatt’s lap.

I fight it and try to pull away but he is bigger than me. Stronger too.

“I’m sorry, Milo. I wouldn’t have asked if I’d known.”

No, I want to tell him.

Shut up, I want to scream.

Ask me more, my self-destructive side shouts inside my mind. I want them to force out my darkest sins so that they’ll leave me alone. I’ve been fooling myself with attaching myself to the pair of them. Running away.

I’d thought that maybe… but no. I should’ve stayed away.

I fight Wyatt’s hold a little longer but seeing as I’m wrapped in the quilt that’s practically a straightjacket, I can’t escape and quickly lose the will. Instead, I go limp. Changing tactics, I calm down. If he thinks I’m over it, he’ll probably let me go.

He doesn’t, he just holds me. Him and Tacita talking about stuff I don’t hear because my mind won’t shut up or fully shut off. No matter how tight I screw my eyes up or will my reality away, it doesn’t stop pressing to the forefront.

There’s a brilliant bright light and the whole building around me rattles.

“Holy fuck, what was that?” Wyatt goes tense under me.

Wait? Was that real?

Tacita jumps to her feet, the dip in the mattress where she was sitting, gone. “I don’t have a clue.”

It's the first time I’ve heard panic in her voice and that scares me. She’s never scared.

Wyatt shuffles under me and I finally uncurl to blink up at his face, he’s focused on her. But his hands stay gripped around my body. “It sounded like a bomb went off.”

“Stay here,” Tacita instructs, and I’m lurched out of Wyatt’s hold as he reaches for her.

“You’re not going out there alone.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No. If you go, I’m going.”

“Fine. But stay behind me. I mean it.” Her command is so forceful that Wyatt concedes.

“Are you coming too?” Tacita looks at me.

I nod. My thoughts about distancing myself have evaporated, the threat of danger overriding my logic.

Wyatt moves to the window but a quick glance must not reveal anything because he turns away with a shake of his head. “Nothing to see out there.”

“It sounded like it was coming from the other direction,” Tacita says as she moves for the door. She hesitates, her hand brushing her thigh before she pulls it open.

The hallway beyond looks normal except for a few others on our floor also looking out their rooms to see what the noise was.

Tacita strides out. Wyatt grips my hand and pulls me out with him. His fingers lace into mine as we follow along. It's grounding and brings me back to my earlier thoughts about how I can act in public around him. I know it's a potentially dangerous situation but there are several other people around us and he wants to hold me in some way.