Page 65 of Sit, Stay

"I know," I tell him.

He settles against my leg with a sigh.

The porch is cold. The night is quiet. Somewhere in town, Maggie's probably closing up the diner. Sophie's probably locking up the bookstore. Linda's probably at home telling her husband all about how Dr. O'Connor is a disaster.

And Dean has already made his choice.

His deadline was Thursday morning-yesterday.

I stay on the porch until the cold drives me inside. Until Biscuit gives up and goes to bed. Until there's nothing left to do but lie awake and replay every conversation, every touch, every moment from the lake to the bar to the fight in my kitchen.

I love you.

Come with me.

Build something with me.

Is that what he was asking? Or was Sophie right---did he just ask it badly?

I roll over, punch my pillow, and close my eyes.

Tomorrow, I'll drive to work. See patients. Pretend everything is fine.

Dean made a decision that changes everything.

And I'll be here. In Pine Valley. Safe.

Miserable.

But safe.

The next morning, I drive the long way to the clinic. The route that takes me past the turn-off to base.

The guard shack is visible from the road. Morning shift change. Trucks coming and going. Somewhere in there, yesterday morning Dean sat across from some officer, signing papers that sent him overseas or back to Texas.

My foot hovers over the brake.

I could turn. Right now. Drive through that gate and find him.

And say what? That I'm terrified? That I want him but don't know how to trust this? That Texas sounds like a dream and a nightmare and I can't tell which one is real?

The guard waves at me. Probably thinks I'm lost.

I keep driving.

Past the base. Past the turn-off. Straight to the clinic where Linda is already waiting with coffee and a look that says she knows exactly where I just came from.

"Busy day today," she says, handing me the mug. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"Liar." But she says it kindly.

A cat with a urinary infection. A dog with a torn nail. A rabbit who ate something it shouldn't have.

Normal. Routine. I can do normal.

At noon, Linda pokes her head into the exam room. "You have a visitor."