Page 98 of Breaking the Ice
Coach blinks at me, like I should go first. Sweat breaks out along my hairline.
“Um, I was expecting Bouchard,” I blurt out, wincing at how bad that sounds. “I mean, I have a problem, and I thought he could help.”
Oh crap, that’s even worse. He continues to stare at me while I flounder. “I just, I need some advice. Personal advice.”
“And I’m the last person you’d ask?” Coach Russell pins me in his gaze, and I squirm.
“Well, no, but…” I clear my throat. Can I salvage this? “I think there might be a conflict of interest.”
He jerks his chin in a curt nod. “True. But hit me with it anyway.”
I can’t back out now, can I?
“Um, okay.” Deep breaths. “Isabella needs help with something Friday night. It’s part of her student teaching experience. But we have a game.”
The whole story pours out, and Coach listens and nods through it.
After I’ve finished, he sighs and runs a hand through his thick silver hair. “I should tell you that family comes first. That of course you need to miss the game and help her out. But that’s not really how I’ve lived my life. And that’s not how I’ve let my players operate, either.”
I’m speechless. Not only is this the most words I’ve ever heard Coach string together, it’s also the most personal.
I’m already in deep. Might as well go for it. “Why… do you never talk about your family?”
He taps his fingers on the desk, not refusing to answer but thinking. “Did you know that I was married before? I mean, before I was married to Isabella’s mom?”
I shake my head, still mute. No one knows anything about Coach’s life. Least of all, the guy married to his daughter.
He clears his throat. “I have two older sons. They were both great players, and I pushed and pushed them to be the best…”
He trails off, staring at the desk blotter. Do I prompt him to keep going? Right before I put my foot in it, he starts speaking again.
“Man, I loved coaching them. It changed my career but ruined my marriage, though. So when I got married a second time and Isabella came along, it felt like a fresh start. Especially because she was a girl.” He huffs a little laugh. “There’s no way I could push her too far into hockey, right?”
His face falls, settling back into its normal gruff lines. “But I still couldn’t figure out how to be a dad. I spent too much time on the ice. Poured everything into coaching. I still didn’t have any balance. She started getting into figure skating and then theater. What do I know about that?”
My words are halting. “You…you could learn, you know?”
Instead of murdering me, he nods. “I could, you’re right. I was scared that I wouldn’t be a good enough dad, so I pulled away.”
Scared I wouldn’t be good enough. Wow, put that on my tombstone.
“I get that. But it’s never too late to start.” I pause and gather my courage. “Since it’s confession time, I should probably tell you that I abandoned Isabella on the side of the road in Tennessee to make it to the Regionals game in Fargo.”
Coach’s eyebrows narrow, and his words come out a growl. “You left my daughter stranded?”
“Yep.” If this is going to be the last thing I ever say, I should make it count. The guilt churns in my belly thinking about it, but I hold my chin up high. “Her car broke down, and we couldn’t both make it back in time. Either way, I was going to let one of you down. At least with my choice, I got to help the team.”
He blinks. “But Isabella got back home okay?”
“Yes. She’s pretty resourceful. And way too good for me.”
“That’s the truth.” He shakes his head. “I would have never forgiven you if you had missed that game. But now…I’m having a hard time with what you had to sacrifice.”
“I’m still not sure if I did the right thing. But I think—I want to give her a hand now. If I can.” She deserves so much more than me, but I have to try.
He meets my gaze, his eyes assessing. I hold my ground. How do I measure up?
After a pause that lasts a million seconds and takes years off my life, he gives a decisive nod. “Okay. How can we fix this problem and help our girl?”
