Page 80 of Breaking the Ice

He slips his hand into mine, and my heart soars at the easy familiarity. I wish I could make my family and the hockey team disappear so Evan and I could live in a bubble and just figure out what’s going on between us and what we want.

Is that so much to ask for?

Chapter

Thirty-Seven

EVAN

I was going to end it, but I’m still here—for you.

Every time I want to tell her I love her, Isabella’s words to her dad echo in my mind. I know she feels something for me. But is it just physical attraction and lust? Because when he asked her if she was going to stay married to me after this semester, she didn’t say yes. She didn’t say that she loves me or even likes me. She told him that she stayed married to me for him and the hockey team.

Ouch. I mean, I knew all that, but the reminder that she’s only here because it’s what’s best for others hits me like a stick to the gut.

So every time she smiles at me and I fall a little more under her spell, I hear her words in my brain and the cracks in my heart widen. I can’t seem to push myself away, but it’s gonna tear me to shreds like cuts in the ice when she leaves me after graduation. My only hope is that maybe the friendship she feels for me will deepen into something more by then.

Am I absolutely pathetic? Yes. But I’m so gone for her, I don’t care.

When the university found out about our quickie Vegas wedding, the powers that be convinced the education department to pull some strings and switch around our student teaching placements, so we are at the same elementary school. Something about married students and carpooling, but I’ll take it. Isabella is shadowing the music teacher, Mrs. Vanloo, and I’m with the P.E. teacher, Mr. Perez. We don’t have the same lunch break, but we see each other in the halls and at staff meetings. Since we are both special area teachers, we have all the same students. It’s exhausting and the most fun I’ve had off the ice in…forever.

But the kids have the day off tomorrow for Presidents’ Day, and it’s been too long since we’ve felt like normal college students. So I convinced Jonas and Hadley to host a movie night at Hockey Hall for old-time’s sake.

I claimed the best spot on the couch for myself and my bride, since I purchased it, and I have my arms spread across the back while the Barbie movie plays in the background. Pretty sure that was Hadley’s pick, but I get why Jonas wouldn’t bat an eye at it. If Isabella wants to watch paint dry, I’ll say yes.

She is in the kitchen with Hadley and some other girls, clustered around the snacks. I can’t help it—my gaze keeps flitting to her like a magnet.

Jonas clears his throat. “She’s not far, dude. She’s safe. It’s okay. They won’t hurt her in the kitchen.”

“Am I that bad?” I huff a laugh at myself.

“Yeah? But it’s cute. It’s good to see you happy and settled.”

Settled. Am I? Not something I ever thought I’d want, but being with Isabella fills me with a peace and contentment that I find myself chasing. It’s way better than hopping from girl to girl, or worse, being a dirty little secret who no one thought was good enough. I’m not good enough for Isabella, but she makes me feel like I have the potential to try.

I nod. “Thanks, man. How’s your clinical rotation going this semester?”

Jonas launches into a story about this little kid that he met at the hospital last week and the hilarious thing that he said, and it reminds me of a moment that I had in a kindergarten class. They might be feral, but damn, they are funny. We swap stories, catching up on our lives, and it’s awesome to do something as normal as hang out in this apartment and watch a movie with my best friend.

“I’ve missed you,” he says, at a lull in the conversation, reading my mind. “Like, I know we see each other at hockey every day, but it’s not the same.”

“Right? Married housing kinda sucks sometimes.”

“Don’t say that so loud.” His gaze cuts to the kitchen. “Isabella might hear you.”

I laugh. “Not ‘cause of her. No, the apartment is crap. It is different, living with her, but not bad.”

“Yeah? Different how?”

“I’m used to having lots of people around, so honestly, it’s weird to only have one roommate.” I shrug. “But she smells better than all of you guys put together.”

Jonas rolls his eyes. “Seriously, that’s the only good thing about being married? Girls smell better?”

“No, that’s not the only good thing.” I struggle to put my emotions into words. “It’s like, having my best friend as a roommate, who’s also pretty and sexy, and I can kiss her anytime I want.”

“Oh, so it’s just about sex?”

I punch his shoulder. “We also hang out and have fun. We cook together and laugh a lot. It’s…chill.”