Page 57 of Breaking the Ice

“Can I tell you a secret?” Evan whispers into our dark bedroom. His alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but the bed dips as he shifts behind me and then spoons against me.

I nestle closer to him, pressing my backside against his front. “Mmm-hmm.”

“It’s only been a few weeks, but I like being married to you. I’m glad we didn’t get an annulment.”

His words hang there while I try to figure out what to say. The cover of darkness helps, and the fact that I’m not facing him, too. “What do you like about being married?”

He inhales. “You smell good.”

I huff a laugh. “Really? That’s your number one?”

“Yeah.” His arms tighten around me, a hand snaking flat against my stomach. “The hockey guys don’t even begin to compare.”

“Anything else?”

His lips nuzzle my neck, and heat flares between my legs. “You’re sexy. You’re kind and thoughtful. You’re smart and funny, and yet somehow, you seem interested in me. The real me—not just the hockey player or the party dude. I feel like I could tell you anything, and you’d get it. Or you at least wouldn’t judge me if you didn’t.”

He trails kisses behind my ear, and I swallow. “I’m not sure I can focus on all the nice things you are saying when you’re doing that.”

“Does that mean you want me to stop?” Evan stills, still holding me tight.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.”

He rolls away, staring at the ceiling and leaving me cold. I flip to my side, facing him, even if I can’t make out much more than his shape in the blackness.

I trail my fingertips over his bare chest. It rises and falls with each of his breaths. “I like being married to you, too. And you’re right—we definitely have chemistry together. Both physically and emotionally. Because you ground me, Evan. You remind me not to take myself too seriously and you make me feel important. I⁠—”

I was going to say I love that, but I’m not ready to introduce the L-word. “I really appreciate that.”

He grabs my hand and turns towards me, running a thumb over my fingers. “Do you ever wonder what you were thinking that night in Vegas? When you said yes?”

“Every day,” I deadpan.

“Hey, now.” Evan laughs, pushing me playfully onto my back and rolling on top of me.

He holds his weight off me so he’s not crushing me, just keeping me anchored. My eyes have adjusted so I can make out more of his features. I reach out and brush an errant strand of hair off his forehead.

“I’m pretty sure I know what I was thinking.” I take a deep breath. “I was thinking that I like you. That I wanted to explore the possibilities with you. That something about us together makes sense.”

“I agree.”

His lips brush mine, sending off a flurry of sparks through my body, like fireworks exploding on the Fourth of July. I want to give in, to see how amazing things could be with him, but I’m kind of glad we didn’t get an annulment is one thing. I’m really ready to be monogamous is another. And we made such a crazy decision…I should probably make this one with a little more clarity in my mind and a lot less lust coursing through my veins.

He deepens the kiss, and…it’s a least worth a conversation, right?

“What about sex?” I ask, then want to facepalm. That was my great intro? My only defense is he scrambled my brain.

“Mmm.” His gravelly voice only turns me on further. “What about it? Because I have lots of thoughts.”

“I—I don’t know.” Panic hits. Sex is not that great, but Evan’s kisses are hotter than any previous encounter I’ve had. Practically a religious experience, one of my friends heard. Maybe he can show me what I’ve been missing. On the other hand, maybe I’m the problem. Am I ready to have that confirmed?

“Here’s what I know,” he says, dropping a sweet kiss to my nose. “I know I never want to make you uncomfortable. I know I’d like to have sex with you, but I also know I can wait. Until you’re ready…or never, if that’s what you choose. The puck is totally on your ice.”

Never? Wait a minute. “Oh my god, you’re stuck being married to me. You can’t go out and—unless you want to—unless we should⁠—”

“Hey.” Blessedly, he cuts off the flow of anxious gibberish pouring out of my mouth. “There’s no pressure. I’d never let you do anything you don’t want to for me. I don’t feel stuck. I know my reputation, but I’m not the hookup king anymore. I haven’t been that guy for a while. This, with you, is better than anything else I can think of.”

With that, he shifts and lays his head on my chest. He gives me a squeeze, like I’m a comfortable teddy bear. “I could do this all day—and nothing else—and be satisfied.”