Page 70 of Tessa

Beside Dax, Tessa groaned, burying her face in her hands. Dax didn’t blame her. Beau wasn’t off to an auspicious start.

“Are you breaking up with us?” Dax asked. He was actually quite sure that that wasn’t the case but he hoped that the question would give Beau a nudge of warning that he wasn’t saying what he thought he was saying. It seemed to work.

Beau stopped pacing abruptly. “What? No! Of course not. Why would you think that?”

Dax tipped his head in Tessa’s direction. “Well, she said she needed more commitment not less, and you start off by saying we’ve been going too fast. Not exactly a comforting beginning.”

“Oh.” Beau shook his head. “I didn’t say we were going too fast. That’s not what I said. I said that we had rushed in full steam ahead. And we did. We didn’t stop to consider everyone’s needs and what each of us wanted out of this relationship, or what, even, our roles would be.”

“Our roles?” Dax scoffed. “You’re a Daddy, I’m a Daddy. Tessa is a Little girl. What’s there to consider?”

“If you would stop interrupting me, you might find out,” Beau scolded.

“Sorry,” Dax muttered, leaving off the title because he didn’t know what headspace he was supposed to be in.

Tessa, who seemed to be getting an inkling of which way this was going, crossed her arms over her chest with a pout. “I want two Daddies.”

“Yeah!” Dax threw in. “I want to be a Daddy!” Even as the words left his lips he was hyper-aware that he currently sounded like anything but.

Beau cocked an eyebrow in his direction. Dax wasn’t sure if it was because his words weren’t matching up with his actions, or if there was another reason, but he clamped his lips tightly shut and waited.

Beau blew out a huffy breath that ruffled the tips of his hair and slumped into the third chair. “Obviously, I’m going about this all wrong, and I can’t seem to get it right.” He looked genuinely frustrated. Dax reached for his hand and covered it with his own.

“Start at the beginning,” he urged.

“Okay, so here are the problems that have been brought to me in the past day or so, as well as a few I have noticed myself.”

Tessa nodded encouragingly.

“Dax, you want to have the same Little-sharing dynamic that we have had many times before. You wouldn’t be happy without somebody to Daddy because you have this need to nurture and protect.”

Dax nodded. Everything Beau was saying was true. He loved being a Daddy and even if he didn’t always act like one, he would never be happy as a full-time Little or sub either.

“But,” Beau continued, “you’ve recently embraced your inner brat and you and I have fostered a new kind of relationship, different from what we’ve always had. That’s important to you, and you don’t want to lose it. For the record, I don’t want to give that up either, but balancing what to be when is a struggle and if, no, when, Tessa moves in full time, it’s going to be an even harder balance.”

Beside him, Tessa’s face fell. Dax grabbed her hand and held it. He couldn’t imagine being in her place. Coming into an already established relationship and trying to figure out where you fit in had to feel like a defeating task at times.

Dax willed Beau to notice Tessa’s countenance, or say something that would fix it, but he seemed oblivious.

“Tessa,” he said, moving on, “You expressed that you feel like we are moving too slowly. You don’t feel safe and secure in your role in this throuple, because while trying to give everyone time to feel comfortable and safe, we failed to make any kind of true commitment that would give you a measure of safety and security.”

Tessa nodded, her lower lip trembling. “And when I asked, you didn’t say anything. It made me feel yucky, like you didn’t want me and that’s why there was no commitment.”

Beau nodded, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I’m sorry about that, little one. I hope you’ll forgive me. I should have been clearer and let you know I heard you and that I would fix it as soon as I was able. The issue is several of these problems and feelings you two brought me clash with each other and it made creating a workable solution more difficult. I was tired and overwhelmed and not in a place where I was able to make promises even if I wanted to.”

“We’re sorry, Daddy.” Dax and Tessa spoke at the same time and Beau shook his head to wave off their apologies.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, either of you. But I’m still not done. Tessa, you mentioned sometimes feeling claustrophobic when you were here and like you didn’t have a space for your Little, and Dax, I imagine you feel like sometimes you need a space where it can just be you and I for a moment.”

Shooting a guilty glance at Tessa, Dax nodded.

“Those are a lot of problems that seem to clash with each other, creating bigger problems.”

Dax frowned. Beau was making a lot of sense, and he felt bad for the pressure they’d inadvertently put him under. Beau was a troubleshooter, a problem fixer. Having all these conflicting problems thrown at him at once must have sent him spiraling. But if Dax knew Beau, and he did, he’d bet money on the fact that Beau had already come up with the perfect solutions, not only for those problems but for ones that hadn’t even been invented yet.

“What are we gonna do, Daddy?” Tessa asked with a sniffle, adding, “Can I still call you Daddy?” as her lower lip trembled and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

Dax couldn’t stand to see her cry, and he longed to assure her that everything was going to be just fine. She didn’t know Beau as well as he did; she didn’t know that this literal laundry list of problems he was presenting meant that he was also getting ready to present a solution. Dax longed to tell her, but it wasn’t his place. He couldn’t speak for Beau, only for himself.