Page 64 of Tessa

“I shouldn’t have gotten the tattoo before we made anything truly official. I can see that now and I deeply regret it. I want you to know that I wasn’t trying to force your hand. Dax was doing it and I didn’t want to feel left out. And aside from that, I thought it was sexy,” she admitted. “But… I shouldn’t have done it. What I should have done was tell you how I was feeling and that’s this: I know better than to compare our relationship with those of my friends and my sister, when I get that it’s more complicated with three people, but I don’t think I can do this without more of a commitment. I’m going insane. I feel like I’m actually losing my mind, and I don’t know which way is up! So respectfully, if you guys are still on the fence and not ready to move forward in a more committed and official manner, I don’t know if I can keep going. And I realize that this is a really stupid time to say this, like the stupidest. But it’s how I feel. Also, I love being with you guys, and sleeping with you guys but sometimes I feel really claustrophobic in this room, like there’s not enough space for my Little.”

The last few sentences came out squished together in one rushed breath and Beau had to strain to make out what she was saying.

Fuck. His heart pounded. He knew what he wanted to say, what she needed to hear, and what he should say but there was no way he could do that without having the talk he and Dax needed to have first.

Clenching his teeth as guilt stabbed his heart he sucked in a wheezy breath. “I’m sure that was really hard to say, sweetheart. Thank you for being honest.” He gritted his teeth together before continuing, “It’s definitely something we all need to talk about, and we will soon, but it’s not going to be tonight. It’s already been a rough day, physically and emotionally, and I don’t think it’s the time to be making decisions that affect the rest of our lives.” Bending down he pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “We can save that for another day.”

Chapter Eighteen

Tessa

We can save that for another day.

Beau’s words echoed in her mind the second her eyes popped open after a very restless night.

Turning her head, she looked at Beau and Dax, who were still snoring softly. Of course they were. They had been all night. She’d poured her heart out to them, and then bam, they’d been asleep within minutes.

And Tessa wasn’t stupid. She could read between the lines. Beau hadn’t wanted to end the day with an explosion, so he’d gently blown her off.

Rejected. That was the outcome when you got right down to it. She was good enough to fuck in the ass and spank senseless but not good enough to commit to. Not good enough to make official.

Her ass throbbed, reminding her of the previous night’s activities and of the permanent souvenir of her stupidity. Rolling over onto her side, she scowled. She didn’t want to face them when they woke up. She didn’t want to push the issue only to have to listen to Beau bluster through a fresh rejection. Besides, she’d gotten the message clearly enough the first time.

Gently rolling off the bed, she searched the floor for the dress she’d worn the day before and pulled it over her head, tucked the discarded diaper cover into her overnight bag, and grabbed her sandals, not even bothering to take the two seconds to slide her feet into them. She couldn’t risk it. They could wake up any second.

Her stomach growled loudly as she tiptoed out of the room and closed the door behind her. Her friends would be at breakfast right about now but she wasn’t ready to face them.

So even though she’d skipped dinner and was literally starving, she rode the elevator up to the penthouse. As she’d figured, nobody was there, a fact for which she was eternally grateful. She helped herself to a bowl of cereal, scarfed it down as fast as she could in a manner that could in no way be considered remotely Little or ladylike, put her bowl in the dishwasher, and scurried to her room where she pulled on a fresh pull-up, changed into clean jammies, grabbed Gus out of her bag, and climbed in bed, pulling the covers over her head.

Jilly would leave her alone, and if Baze asked, she would tell him she was sick. Heartsick counted, right? So it wouldn’t be a lie.

Dax

“Hey, where’s Tess?” Dax shook Beau awake, asking the question. He’d rolled out of bed and into the bathroom the second he’d opened his eyes, so he knew she wasn’t in there. It wasn’t until he came out that he’d been awake enough to notice her absence.

“Beau.” Dax shook harder. “Wake up. Tessa is gone.”

“Damn,” Beau groaned, pushing himself into a sitting position and rubbing his eyes as he leaned back against the headboard. “I was afraid of that.”

“What? Why?”

“Last night. She poured her heart out and I just told her to go to sleep and that we’d talk at another time. She probably took it as a rejection.”

“Crap. We’ve got to find her.” Dax was in panic mode.

“I’m sure she’s at the penthouse.”

“Well, we have to text her. Get her to come back here and then talk to her. Let her know how we feel.” He frowned, rummaging through the pockets of his discarded cargo shorts for his phone. When he had it, he stared at Beau with his fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Should I text? Or should I just call? What should I say?”

“Stop.” With a firm hand grasping Dax’s wrist, Beau stilled him. “She’s fine for now. I’m sure of that. Yes, we need to talk to her, yes, we need to address her concerns and let her know how we really feel. But, babyboy, we can’t do that until we—you and I—have the talk we need to have. That’s the only reason I put her off last night. I was sure she would understand. Apparently, I was wrong, but we have to deal with that a little later. She’s with Baze and her friends and her sister right now. She’ll be okay. We have to figure things out with us so we can present a united front. That’s what will help her feel safe and secure.”

Dax sighed. “I guess you’re right. But, what kind of talk do we need to have?” he asked, looking at Beau with a weary side-eye.

And just like that, Beau took his hand, and flipped him face first across his lap with one swift tug.

Dax whimpered and cringed. He knew he deserved more trouble but he was not ready. Beau peeled down his boxers and whistled. “Oooh, babyboy, you got some good marks yesterday.”

“I knooow. It really hurts.” Dax couldn’t help that he sounded whiny and decidedly less Big. It was hard to keep an adult headspace when you were staring down the barrel of a punishment spanking.