Page 35 of Jade

She’d never really awakened. She was just a robot zombie going through the motions. Every part of her ached and the smallest movement required so much effort.

She heard him leave the room and heard the water running in the bathroom. A cool bath actually sounded nice, and at least he’d stay in there with her and wash her and make sure her temperature came down.

“Okay come on.” He was back, helping her out of her sweat-soaked pajamas, working her panties over her hips and down her legs until she was fully naked. Then he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the tub.

“It’s lukewarm, not cold, but your body temperature is so high, it might feel colder at first,” he warned as he gently lowered her into the water. “You’re not gonna like it, but it will help bring your fever down faster and that will make you feel better.”

She started to shiver when her body hit the water, but Ryan was quick to help her adjust, scooping cupfuls of water down her back and shoulders. When she stopped shivering and leaned against the back of the tub he stood.

“I’ll give you some privacy. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

He left before she could beg him not to, and she blinked away the tears. Of course. Eleven-year-olds didn’t need their Daddies to help them bathe. She and Ryan kept their hygiene rituals separate unless they were fooling around in the shower.

It made sense. Independence and privacy were the main things she loved about being a Middle. How could she tell him that when she was sick, she’d rather be a Baby? She wanted him to bathe her, and feed her liquid medicine with a syringe, and hold a bottle for her to drink from and yes, even take her temperature the old-fashioned way.

She slumped in the tub, too weak to move, and barely registered when Ryan came back, drained the water, lifted her out of the tub and dried her off, helping her into fresh jammies and carrying her back to bed. She immediately dropped against the pillows, grabbing Leon and snuggling up.

“No, sweetie, no sleeping yet. I need to check your temperature again to see if the bath and meds helped. Here, open your mouth.”

Tears pricked her eyes as he stuck the thermometer under her tongue. She gagged but managed to hold it in place until it beeped. He took it out and breathed an audible sigh of relief. “One-oh-one. It’s coming down. You get some rest, and we’ll check it again after your nap.”

Turning away from him, she let the tears fall freely. She hoped she started to get better soon, because being sick as a Middle was too hard and she’d die before she’d tell him how she really felt.

Chapter 13

Jade

“Come on, sweetie, sit up and have some soup. Chef Graham made it just for you.”

“Mmm mmm go ‘way!” Rolling over in the bed, she turned away from him. It had been three days, she still felt like crap. Her fever came and went, on more than it was off. She had no energy, her throat felt like someone had taken a soldering iron to it, and she’d been diagnosed with mono of all things!

Aside from all that, depression was setting in. There were no tasks to do, no friends to see, not really even rules to follow and she just wanted to be babied, dang it.

Ryan was an excellent caretaker, a superb Daddy; he really was and she had no room to complain, but he’d signed on to Daddy her with the understanding that her Middle age was eleven. And she’d thought it was. How was she supposed to know that when she felt like she was on death’s door, she’d miss all the things she’d thought she hated and didn’t need? Bottles and binkies and being bathed all sounded fabulous right about now. Heck, she even missed diapers!

“Jade sweetie, if you don’t at least eat some broth, and drink some Gatorade, I’m gonna have to take you to the hospital. You’re gonna get dehydrated and make yourself sicker.” Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, no doubt holding a bowl of soup and an oversized spoon that would make her gag if she tried to fit it in her mouth.

He’d always feed her the first few bites to get her to cooperate, and then ultimately he’d leave her to it. Her and her gag reflexes and her swollen glands and her droopy eyes and aching muscles. And then he’d be disappointed when she put it down after just a couple bites.

“Do you not like the soup? Do you want some Gatorade? Some tea? A protein shake?”

Broth. Gatorade. Tea. Whatever. Just put it in a bottle and feed me!

But she didn’t say that. She couldn’t and wouldn’t. She was too ashamed of the way she was feeling. It was stupid, right? She’d fought for her independence, for the freedom to be her authentic Middle self. And, in a world where everyone seemed to want Littles, she’d found a wonderful Daddy who loved her Middle. She couldn’t just take it back now, and say “sorry, just kidding, guess I still want to be a Little after all”. Especially since she knew that deep down it wasn’t true.

She didn’t want to go to the hospital and be poked with needles and hooked up to IVs, so she rolled over to face him and let him spoon a few bites of soup into her mouth. When he tried to get her to sit up and feed herself, she shook her head and rolled back over.

She closed her eyes and fought back tears at the sound of his exasperated sigh. “Listen, sweetie, I’m going to run to the pharmacy. We need more Gatorade and more Tylenol and I’m going to get a small fan to put by your side of the bed like Doctor Duke suggested. I’ll be back in a bit, and you’re going to have to try to eat and drink. If you don’t, I will be taking you to the hospital.”

She didn’t offer up an argument, and a few minutes later she heard him leave.

She knew she was being silly, she could feed herself and hold a bottle of Gatorade at least long enough to appease him. She could choke down pills, bathe herself, and get herself to the bathroom. She could and she should. And then she wouldn’t have to go to the hospital. So why was she lying there fighting an insane urge to run away?

Just because she felt this way right now, didn’t mean she would still feel the same when she wasn’t sick and was back to her normal self. She knew she wouldn’t.

But mono was an illness that could last a long time, and she didn’t know if she could make it through.

Stop it! She mentally berated herself for her thoughts. Running away from her dream Daddy because she was sick and whiny and exhausted and emotional was ridiculous. And even if she wanted to, it took all her strength to make it to the bathroom. She couldn’t make it out of Utopia. And where would she go, even if she could?