Page 162 of How To Not Need You
“Ben's giraffe is purple.”
“That's not why it's wrong.”
“Giraffes aren't purple.”
“They could be.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“That's not how nature works.”
“Nature is boring.”
“Nature is the reason your body can currently process the six kilos of sugar you've eaten today.”
Tilly thinks about that. “Did you just call me fat?”
Liv nearly trips. I choke on a laugh. “No! Jesus Christ. That's not what I said.”
“You said six kilos.”
“Of sugar.”
“In my body.”
“I walked directly into this, didn't I?”
“Yep.”
Liv looks over her shoulder at me. “Help.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Coward.” Probably. But I'm also not stupid. They reach the truck before I do. Liv opens the passenger door while Tilly starts trying to climb into the back without releasing any of her balloons.
“Dad!”
“What?”
“I can't get in!”
“Put the balloons down.”
“No!”
“Then I don't know what to tell you.”
Liv takes three of them. Problem solved. I reach the driver's side.
“Are you coming,” Liv calls, “or are you planning to marry the fire truck?”
“Coming.”
“Good. Your daughter volunteered you to make pancakes tomorrow.”
“I make good pancakes.”
