Page 136 of How To Not Need You

Fuck.

I was expecting an explanation. Preferably one delivered in full while I sat here silently judging its credibility and contributing absolutely nothing emotionally vulnerable of my own.

This feels unfair. I look away from him.

“Liv.”

“I’m thinking.”

“Okay.”

“Stop being patient. It’s irritating.”

“Would you prefer I rush you?”

“No.”

“Then I’m a little limited on options here.”

I glare at him. He waits. Of course he does.

I pick at a loose bit of paint on the edge of the step instead, because apparently that's easier than looking at him while I admit that one woman in one towel managed to detonate six months of progress in approximately four seconds.

It sounds worse now that I am in front of him.

Not what I saw. That was bad. Megan opening Jake’s front door wearing nothing but a towel is objectively fucking terrible.

But everything I decided after that?

I didn’t ask her why she was there. I didn’t call Jake. I didn’t even stay long enough for Megan to say more than a few words before I bolted for my car like the house was on fire.

Then I spent three days ignoring him. Very mature. Excellent communication.

Ten out of ten, Liv. “I thought you slept with her.”

There. Horrible. Out loud. I force myself to look at him. Jake doesn't look angry. Somehow, that would be easier.

He just looks at me with a deep sadness in his eyes that’s hard to see.

“I didn’t.” Two words. No Jesus, Liv. No how could you think that? No getting pissed off that I could believe him capable of it. Just I didn’t.

And the truly annoying thing is that sitting here with him, I believe him. Completely. I think I did before, but was just too scared to admit it.

“I know that now,” I say.

His eyebrows lift slightly. “You do?”

“Don’t make me repeat it. I’m already having a terrible time.”

“What changed?”

I look at him. “For starters, you weren’t there and you were not naked.”

His eyebrows shoot up at that.

“That was a joke.”

“Jesus, Liv.” He shakes his head before running his hand through his hair again and takes a deep breath. “Megan called me when I got to the station and told me that her hot water was out. She asked to use my shower so I told her where I hid the spare key without really thinking about it.”