Page 105 of Ruthless Game

Max spoke into my hair. “What do you really want, Starburst? If you want it, I’ll give it to you. Anything, and I’ll give it to you. Promise.”

But he couldn’t give me this.

“I want a family,” I whispered against his chest, too afraid to say the words loudly, as if by doing so, my wish would never, ever come true. “I want kids. I want to stay at home with them, to raise them, to give them everything I was missing before the Schwartzes adopted me. It feels selfish, like I should want to give back more to the world, but that’s it. That’s what I want. And based on what the doctor said …” I trailed off, throat hurting from both the tears and my confession.

Then Max’s hands were on my upper arms, and he was setting me back from him. My heart squeezed tighter. Was he trying to distance himself? Was this too much?

“I’m sorry,” I started. “We don’t have to⁠—”

“We do have to talk about this,” he said, his voice firm but his hand gentle as he tipped my chin up to make sure we were looking in each other’s eyes. “Starburst, I promise you—I’ll give you a family. Maybe it won’t be the way you imagined it, but we’ll have one. Emma, you’re enough for me—I need to be clear on this. Kids, no kids, IVF, surrogacy, adoption, fostering. Hell, forgoing human children and raising an entire pack of dogs. Whatever you want to do, I’m with you. Because all I want is you. Do you hear me?”

I heard him. Felt him. Knew him. He meant every single word.

“I love you,” I told him.

The blue in his eyes was as expansive as the sky, surrounding me with his quiet joy.

“Not as much as I love you,” he told me. “Now, let’s call your parents.”

I twisted away from him. “What? No.”

“Yes, Emma,” he said. “I know they’re proud of you, no matter what. But you need that confirmation out loud. And I want to be there for you when you talk to them, to be your moral support. Just like you’ve been mine. Be brave for me, Starburst.”

He didn’t give me any more time to protest or even to run away. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he scrolled and pressed call. Moments later, my mom answered.

“Max? How’s the little vacation? How’s Emma? Is everything okay?”

Of course he’d told her we were going on vacation together. I would’ve laughed, if anxiety wasn’t a huge boulder in my throat.

“Everything’s fine, but Emma wants to talk to you about something.”

“Hang on for a second, let me grab Will,” she said.

There was some murmuring, and then my father came on the line.

“Emma, what is it? What’s wrong?”

I took a deep breath.

Be brave for me, Max had said.

“Mom, Dad … I know you’re both so excited for me about doing that internship in England. But the truth is, as interesting as child psychology is, and as important as public policy is, I don’t want to do either.”

There was silence on the phone, before my mom asked, “What do you want to do?”

“Whatever it is, we’ll support you, sweetheart,” my dad added.

Would they, though?

Max gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I don’t want a job outside of the home. I want to be a parent and a stay-at-home one. And I know that’s not what you wanted for me and why you sacrificed for me, and I know you’re probably disappointed⁠—”

My dad interrupted. “That is not why we worked so hard. It wasn’t so you could go get some job somewhere. We wanted to give you a well-rounded education so you could make choices for yourself that would be fulfilling and bring you joy. If that’s being a parent, then god, there’s nothing more fulfilling.”

“Honey,” my mom added, “I’m so sorry that we made you think you had to make us proud of you. We’re already proud of you. You and your brother are the best things that ever happened to either of us. We love you so much, and if being a stay-at-home parent makes you happy, then that’s what you’ll do.”

“Just … please not yet,” my dad added. “Do you hear me, Max? You kids are young, give yourselves a little time. I’m begging you.”