Page 4 of His to Own

The only relief I get is when I leave the house and inhale the crisp air. Spring is on its way and soon it will be warm out. Maybe then I’ll feel happier.

I doubt it. I’ll most likely be married to Sergei within a few months. When Father announced Lana was marrying Nikolai, their wedding happened just a month after that.

Despite the cold air, I still wear a dress. It’s something my mother always insists on. Be a lady. Always.

I have no problems looking feminine. The problem is wearing a dress when it’s still cold outside. I shiver in my long coat as I hurry to the car. My personal driver, Sasha, takes me to school.

His warm eyes flick to mine in the rearview mirror. “What’s the test on today, Miss Karetov?”

“Crime and Punishment.” How fitting for my life right now. I haven’t committed any crimes but it still feels like I’m being punished anyway.

“I’m sure you’ll do great. You always pass all your classes.”

“Thank you, Sasha.”

He’s been driving me around since I was in high school. He seems to care for me more than my own father does.

My college is an elite school. Moscow State University. I studied hard to be accepted into their writing program. I remember how elated I was when I found out the news but that was all dashed when my father screamed at me for going to school to become a writer. It’s a miracle he even let me go. I’m still not fully sure why he did it. Maybe Mother got through to him.

Lana told me about the time she saw our father hit our mother across the face. This was years ago. She always believed that Father felt regret over what he did to Mother.

That’s the most I’ve ever learned about my parents’ marriage. Despite living in the same house, I barely see them. And they barely see me.

I hurry across campus to my classroom. The warm rich wood tones of the hallways allows me to breathe in deeply. This is where I’m home. Where I can feel at ease.

Except for when I see Polina coming right towards me. With her blouse and tweed skirt and glasses, she looks like the picture perfect student. And she takes studying seriously. It’s why she’s glaring at me as she stops before me.

“Elena,” she says through tight, thin lips.

“Polina.” I try walking past her but she steps in my way.

“How do you think you’re going to do on the test today?”

“I’m hoping I pass.”

“I know I will.” She tosses her brown hair over her shoulder. “I always get perfect grades. You can’t take that from me.”

“I never said I would.” I hug my books closer to my chest. They suddenly feel much heavier than they did a moment ago. “We can both get good grades, Polina.”

“I worked hard to get here unlike you. Your father paid your way in. Everyone knows it. I will win the internship for Professor Burgrov’s writing camp next semester. I will win it. Not you.”

I try not to flinch but I can’t help it. Polina has such a strong personality. “I wish you the best of luck.”

She snorts and turns away, flicking her hair in my direction. It smacks me in the face. Her penny loafers somehow clang on the ground as she walks. That’s the power she exudes.

I want to win that internship as well but I know Polina will most likely be the one chosen. And now that I’ll be married to Sergei Petrov, I guess my dreams and wishes don’t matter anymore.

I find my class – Professor Burgov’s class to be exact – and take my seat. Polina sits a few desks away, glaring at me.

Alexei slides into the seat next to mine. “Hi, Elena.” His kind smile reaches his eyes. I can’t help but blush. Alexei has always been a cute boy but I never let myself have feelings for him. Not when my father never allowed me to date and I was never brave enough to go against what my father wanted.

Professor Burgov hands out the sheets for our Crime and Punishment test. “You may all begin. It will take the entire class.” He settles behind his desk and reads a book. A man a few words but his writing is impeccable. Everyone who has interned for him has gone on to have successful writing careers. I was hoping that could be me one day. But now…

It’s hard for me to focus on the test when all I can think about is Sergei. Sergei marrying me. Sergei putting a ring on my finger. Sergei touching me on our wedding night.

I gasp. Alexei glances at me but I keep my head facing the desk. Keep it together. Pass this test. I need it.

I try my best to pull through but the class ends much sooner than I’m expecting. It dawns on me that I only answered half the questions. My legs tremble when I get up to hand in my test. Professor Burgov gives me a disappointing look.