Page 50 of Bent, Not Broken

“Yeah. Hayden.” Paxton turned us into an extra-narrow street with a web of alleyways. We stopped beside some and shined the flashlight down there, just to check there weren’t any shady deals happening. We only found a few homeless people, and a dog rummaging through a garbage can.

“He go into the military like you?”

“Don’t know.” Paxton winced. I must have hit a sore spot, but when I went to change the topic, he kept talking. “My brother and I are from Manchester, but we got an American dad. He never really had much to do with us growing up. Mum got sick and tired of me and Hayden getting into trouble, so she sent us over the pond to Florida. I wasn’t the most patient teen. Dad wanted Hayden and me to take care of his other son, our half brother. Wasn’t for me, though. As soon as I hit eighteen, I packed up my stuff and took off. Joined the Marines. Haven’t much spoken to Hayden since. Actually, at all. After me and Alex got married, I went back to Florida, expecting to see him there, make amends. It was only Garrett and Dad. Apparently Hayden took off too, and they hadn’t heard from him since.”

“Were you close?”

He turned the wheel carefully and headed back out of the narrow street and onto one of the main highways that led through this area. He smiled, the corner of his mouth turning up only slightly. “As close as brothers could get.” The smile disappeared. “I thought I was doing him a favor, leaving him behind. But I was also young, and an idiot.” He glanced at me, blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Call this fellow of yours, Slater. What happens between the two of you isn’t anyone else’s bloody business. Clearly you care.”

He pulled the cruiser over in front of a small outdoor restaurant that served hot dogs and fries and pointed at it. “I’m going to get something to eat while you tell your piece of ass how much you miss him. Want something?”

I shook my head at him and laughed quietly. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Wind down your window. I’ll be right back.” He slapped my chest after I hit the electronic button to put down my window, and then he slid out of the car and headed toward the hot dog stand.

I snorted and grabbed my phone out of the glove box. It was our break time anyway, so I didn’t see a problem calling Polunin. He’d probably be home now, or would be soon, lounging on his plush couch in his pajamas. Or would he be out on the hunt for another cock? The thought made my skin crawl and I found his number in my phone, thumping on it with my finger and placing it against my ear.

He answered after three dial tones. “What, Slater?”

“Back to Slater, is it?” I cringed at the teasing tone in my voice.

“Would you prefer me to call you honey bun?” There was an edge to his tone, daring me to push him further, and my pulse spiked in excitement. Since this whole thing began, Madden had taken the brunt of my angry words and reflected them with humor. He put up with it. This was the first time I’d heard real dangerous irritation in his voice, and there was something sexy about it.

“Honey bun, I like that.” Guilt sat heavy like a rock in my stomach and I sighed. I couldn’t apologize, even if I wanted to. I wasn’t that type of guy, and I wasn’t good at this communicating bullshit. What was I supposed to say?

“What do you want, Evan?” He sounded defeated now, maybe tired, and that guilt just got heavier.

“I was an asshole.”

“Which time?”

I winced and leaned back into the headrest, my eyes slipping closed. “Every time.”

“You don’t say.” The sarcasm in his voice made me laugh.

“I’m not good at this,” I said. It was the most honest I’d been with anyone in a long time.

“At being with a man?” He’d gentled his voice, and I felt compelled to talk truthfully.

“Being with anyone. I don’t do relationships.” I huffed and opened my eyes again, staring through the windshield at a couple of men who crowded around a car in front of the cruiser. There was nothing suspicious about them, they were chatting like old friends.

“If you remember, neither do I.”

“I know.” I clenched my fist on the armrest on my door, then unclenched it, watching the tips of my fingers turn red and change back to the normal color when I released it. “I just… I like fucking you.”

He chuckled and my shoulders relaxed. “Is that your way of saying you like me?”

“Maybe.” I grinned. “Or maybe I just like your ass.”

He made a noise that sounded almost like a sigh, but I wasn’t sure. “I’m not going to be your dirty secret forever. It was fun for a hot second, but….”

“I don’t want you to be.” I sucked in a breath and then mulled words over in my head. Fuck it. I wasn’t going to be Madden’s unpinned grenade. I’d rather be his bulletproof vest. “I like you, and I want to be with you, all right?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Say that again.”

I glared at the dashboard. “Don’t push it, Madden.”

He laughed, and the sound made my chest swell with a feeling I didn’t want to study for too long. “A man needs to know when he’s wanted, even a man as perfect as I am.”