Page 151 of Bratva Menace

Angry.

The anger wasn’t at him. Or her.

It was at myself.

I killed my brother.

I killed my brother for a man who left me.

The feelings taking root inside my heart overwhelmed me to the point that I didn’t give a fuck about putting on a front anymore.

I broke down.

“I can’t handle it.” I sobbed, crumbling to the ground, covering my face with my hands. “I can’t handle it. I can’t handle it.”

Illayana crouched down with me immediately, voice layered with concern as she asked softly, “Can’t handle what?”

“What I did,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I killed him.” Each word was laced with agony. “I killed my own brother. The only person who has ever loved and cared for me. I killed him, for a man who doesn’t give a shit about me⁠—”

“That’s not true,” Illayana insisted. “Lukyan does care for you.”

I looked up, shaking my head. “No, he doesn’t. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have left. I know what he did. He played along with me. Played into my ‘delusions’ to earn my trust, and then just left the first chance he got. He didn’t mean any of it. None of it. And I ended up killing the one person in the world who truly loved me for someone who only claimed to.”

She exhaled a deep sigh. “Look, I say this in the nicest way possible, but that’s fucking stupid.”

I blinked and hiccuped. “What?”

“If you had seen my brother these last few months, you wouldn’t be thinking that. Not at all. Those thoughts never would have even made it into your head. Lukyan has not stopped looking for you. Not once. He has everyone out there searching for you, and I mean everyone. Even other crime syndicates. He’s exhausted every option available to him, calling in all the favors the Bratva is owed to try and find you. He throws fits when he comes home without you, and I mean full-blown, tantrumy, throws-shit-around-and-knocks-things-to-the-floor kind of fits. He’s not the same man he was before. He’s consumed by you, and I know he’ll never be happy until he has you back.”

I breathed heavily, unable to comprehend what she was saying. “Why did he leave me then?”

“Come on. You’re smart enough to know why. He wouldn’t have done it unless he had to. By that point, shit with my grandfather was at boiling point. He had a job to do. Lukyan had to leave. He had to finish it for the sake of our family’s future. Also, you can’t just kidnap someone and expect them to stay with you forever.”

My brows snapped together in thought. “Why not? Didn’t your brother do that with his now wife?” I asked, arching a brow. During my time stalking Lukyan, I’d obtained a lot of information. Seen a lot of things—one of which was Aleksandr keeping Drea locked up in their house.

If it worked out for them, it could have worked out for us. That had been my thought process, and what had given me the idea to kidnap Lukyan in the first place.

“Okay, one, it’s creepy that you know that, and I’m not even going to ask how you know that⁠—”

“I saw it while I was stalking Lukyan,” I said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Because it was.

“Right.” She clicked her fingers, forming them into the shape of a gun and pointing it at me. “Creepy. And two, my brother did kidnap Drea at the start, yes, but he knew a relationship could never form unless he let her go, and she came back willingly. And she did. Lukyan would have come back to you too.”

“You don’t know that.”

“If how Lukyan has been acting the last few months is any indication, I think I do.” She took one last drag of the cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stamping it out with her heel. “Like I said, I know my brother, and I know he will never give up until he finds you. Once he sets his mind to something, there’s no stopping him. He’s like a dog with a bone. Lukyan has decided he wants you, and he won’t rest until he has you. Remind you of anyone?” Her brow arched up high, a knowing smirk on her lips.

“Oh, you’ve got jokes,” I said humorlessly.

“Yeah, well, that one was too good to pass up.” She chuckled.

I grunted. It was pretty good.

Exhaling heavily, I leaned my back against the brick wall behind me and stared up at the night sky. Her words made me happy, of course, but I couldn’t drag myself out of the pit of despair that had me firmly lodged in its grasp.

It didn’t take away the pain I felt. The hole in my heart that Lev’s absence caused.