Page 145 of Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye

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LEIA

God, I feel sick. Leia’s stomach plunged like an elevator snapped loose of its cables. How is this happening? Shoulders shaking in the evening chill, she paced wildly, fighting back sobs as the muffled voice glued to her ear finally took a breath.

“Three other women?!” Leia gasped into her phone, her manic steps crunching the frost-licked grass on the edge of London Fields. “You think you know someone—” A knot choked her throat and sudden tears swelled in her eyes, breaching her lashes.

The life she had so lovingly stitched together wasn’t just unravelling. It was ripping apart.

Her watery stare vaulted upward. The jolly Christmas lights and steamed-up windows of Alex and Mark’s second-floor apartment framed happy silhouettes, swaying and flailing, their frenetic dance accompanied by Saint Etienne’s “No Cure for the Common Christmas”. A mix of spirited accents and raucous laughter—Tarquin’s laugh?—cut through the music, and Leia’s heart splintered into a thousand little pieces.

“Leia, I’m so sorry…I really didn’t have a choice.” Breathy and pained, the voice on the phone released a woeful sigh.

“No! This isn’t your fault. None of it is, okay? Please believe that,” Leia begged through chattering teeth, her bare arms prickled with goose bumps. “And don’t worr—”

“Sorry! Have to go! They’re giving me evil stares.”

Leia flinched. “Uh, okay. Talk tomorrow?”

“Promise. Love you, Ley, bye.”

Three beeps signaled the caller was gone.

What am I going to do?! Dropping the phone from her ear, Leia gasped, and her rapid breaths set free a torrent of hot tears down her cheeks. She pressed the back of her other hand against her mouth and gulped. It’s Simon’s wedding. How do I even…?

She swung away from the happy glow of the reception and trudged deeper into the adjoining park, her white dress dragging through a half-frozen puddle clogged with leaves, their edges furry with ice. “Oh, NO! Fuck!” she barked between sobs, fisting the material and hiking it above the sludge. Her hasty inspection revealed no grass stains or splotches of dirt. So, my dress isn’t ruined—but what about my relationship?! She glared into the dark stillness of the barren trees, cursing loving boyfriends and unfaithful partners and everyone in between.

“Ginger, there you are!”

Tarquin. Leia’s breath bottled in her chest. She peered over her shoulder. He can’t see me like this. Swiping away all teary evidence, she blew out her cheeks and stuffed her phone in her dress’s pocket, where her fingers tangled with the fabric measuring tape from her mini sewing kit. So that’s where it went. She bunched it up with a nervous twist of her fingers and thumb.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, then I spotted you through the window.” Tarquin’s tone was boyish and champagne-soaked. “Spencer’s a good laugh, but she pogos to bloody well everything! I need my dance partner. I need you!”

Leia painted on her best ‘Everything is awesome’ grin and slowly swiveled, finding Tarquin’s smile firing on all cylinders, eyes shining, dimples teasing, her winter coat draped over his arm. So adorable and considerate. God, I love him.

Her shattered heart soared, and for that moment, everything felt carefree and bright—until her hand raked over the phone in her pocket and reality swooped in, hurling those fluttery swoons into a spiraling nosedive.

“You’ll be proud of me!” Tarquin chuckled. “I didn’t lay a single finger on your apple tart, although I was tempted.” He unfurled her purple coat, swaddling her shoulders in the welcome warmth of its wool.

Always thoughtful and charming. “Thank you.” Her mouth flickered with a genuine smile as he kissed her forehead, careful not to muss up her elegant up-do. But the brief press of his lips on her cold skin rippled through her body, whirling all the grief and sadness around inside her.

Tarquin pulled back and rubbed his hands together, blowing on his skin. “Why’d you come out here? It’s bloody freezing!” A shiver surged through him, and the shoulders of his unbuttoned tux jacket rounded as he shook. “Brrr! My nipples could key a car!”

So goofy! Leia snort-laughed. No one makes me crack up like he does.

Wasting no time, he wound his arms around her, and Leia surrendered, snuggling into him, savoring his warm, loving embrace. Tarquin is everything I’ve ever wanted.

“See?” He pressed his chest against hers. “My nips are lethal weapons!”

She giggled through a shiver, thwarting more tears. “Hey, you’re in luck—I have nipple covers in my bag.”

Tarquin’s laugh vibrated through her body. “That’s my girl! What would I do without you, eh?” His voice danced, all light and playful, overflowing with joy as he gently swayed, stroking her coat-covered back. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m the world’s luckiest bloke! You are my everything!”

Her heart panged, suddenly mourning for the day he might propose, the minute she’d say ‘I do’, the moment their newborn was placed in her arms. It’s all going to slip away—I can feel it!

“So, why’d you fancy a solo stroll in the park?”

Loosening her grip, Leia stepped back, her eyes poring over his black bow tie and white shirt. “It was so noisy in there. Then I couldn’t get good reception…” She tugged the cozy coat around her neck, but her trembling wouldn’t stop.