Page 49 of The Bratva’s Monster

The irony of how all this is working out hasn’t escaped me as I sit on the balcony outside my bedroom, drinking a beer and remembering. Sometime after it had all blown over and Alex and I were relaxing in his game room, he told me how close he came to ending his wife, Nona’s, life.

“Everything pointed to her being a rat,” he’d told me. “I mean, she was born into the Irkutsks, her father was actively trying to use her against us… if Kostya hadn’t shown me that video when he did…”

I don’t remember the rest of the conversation. I was three beers deep and more focused on a game of pool than his love life. What I do remember is that Gedeon’s betrayal was the main thing that restored his faith in Nona.

I find it deeply ironic that the opposite might end up being the thing that saves Liz. The parallels between my brother’s love for Nona and whatever it is that I feel for Liz being determined by a man who isn’t even here to defend himself run side by side. It makes me wonder what the future will hold beyond this.

What do I feel for Liz? This last time together was very different from that first time. The beast inside me felt a little more controlled. Or maybe more willing to go along with what I desired rather than destroying everything it touched. It falls in line with how she makes me feel, I suppose. The other day when I nearly lost it on her, I interpreted these feelings as being out of control. As though somehow, it was her that allowed me to drop my guard and any sense of order that I possess.

Now? Now I’m not so sure that’s true. What I do know is that I’m entering new territory when it comes to her. I don’t understand it at all. But God help me, I want to try.

I hear the faint sound of footsteps somewhere behind me. I stiffen and turn, looking through the sliding doors into my bedroom. It’s empty. The bed is still messed up, comforter half on the bed, my sweatpants lying off to one side, a flash of pink from what’s left of Liz’s panties peeking out from the other side of the bed.

I finish my beer and set it aside, then I walk in, taking careful steps as I listen for the footsteps. I don’t have to wait long. I hear them, followed by the sound of my brother’s voice.

“Rikki? You home?”

I forget that we all have keys to each others’ homes. It might have been a good idea at the time, but right now it feels intrusive. “I’m upstairs,” I call out and walk out of the room.

I meet Alex as he’s coming up the stairs and the first thing I notice is how bad he looks. It’s not obvious. He’s wearing a nice dress shirt and slacks, his hair is well groomed so that the silver streak in the front shines under the light and his beard looks freshly trimmed.

But his eyes don’t look right. He and Yeva both got our mother’s icy blue eyes that shoot daggers as easily as they can light up a room. Today, his are darkened like the clouds right before a storm. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are slightly slumped. It almost looks like my brother is wearing a mask over his real face.

“I called you earlier,” he said. “Where have you been?”

“I’ve been here,” I said. “My phone was off.” I’m almost afraid to ask, but I have to. “Is something wrong?”

He narrows his eyes at me, then, “Are you alone?”

“Yes.” His tone is new, almost foreign. I don’t like it. “What’s going on, Alex?”

He stares at me for a couple of beats, then he walks past me to my bedroom. “Hey,” I call after him as I follow. “Alex, what the hell?”

He walks into my room and stops, looking around. I see his eyes fall on the disheveled sheets and comforter, on my sweat pants… then on the fragments of Liz’s underwear. He walks over and picks it up. His mouth turns sideways in mild disgust.

“You did say you wanted me to get closer to her,” I say to him.

He rolls his eyes and tosses the scrap on the bed. “At least now I know why you ignored my calls.”

“I told you, my phone was off. What’s with you?”

“What’s with me? Me?” He glares at me with cold rage. “While you spent your day fucking your brains out, we got hit. Again. Goddammit, Rikki. I need you to answer me when I call you.”

“Hit? Where? Was it another storehouse?”

“Three more on the upper east side,” he said. “This is getting out of control, Rikki. I need the leak plugged up and fast.”

“I hear you.”

“Do you hear me?” He growls it, walking up to me and challenging me with his icicle glare. “Because I’m beginning to think that you might be losing sight of what your goal was supposed to be in getting close to Liz.”

I almost tell him. I feel the words floating around in the back of my mind and I almost blurt them out. I don’t think Gedeon’s guilty. A simple sentence that would probably send him right over the edge and start us both fighting.

I have no proof. None. Telling Alex that with nothing to back it up will only make me look weak in his eyes. Like I fell for the wiles of a beautiful woman and now I’m willing to trade in my loyalty for it.

“I haven’t lost sight of anything,” I say to him. “You wanted me to gain her trust, Alex. You told me to do whatever I had to, but to get her to either confess or find a way to clear her name. That’s what I’m doing.”

“How many storehouses have you told her about while you were gaining her trust?”