Page 25 of Teddy Bear

I crawled into myself, into that space that was safe and bottomless, and over it I put on an invisible armor that served as a bulwark between the little peace that I carefully guarded and everything that could disturb it.

Mum was cheerful and happy; after a long time, I saw a speck of the former glow in the corners of her lost, movie-beautiful, deep, brown eyes, and I wouldn't spoil it for absolutely nothing in this world.

I wanted to see her like that even for a short while; I missed that image of her - comfortably busy and occupied with tidying up the house and herself, a bit blind to everything else, smiling much more than usual and in some funny way distracted and swept away in it all.

She was in love again - a little funny and even sad. I couldn't believe that her feelings for my father were so strong, after all the years they spent together, after all the terrible things they said to each other in arguments, and after everything they did to each other.

Saddest of all was the almost certain knowledge that her bubbly, rosy joy would soon subside, pierced and killed by the deathly and expressionless pallor of the man who now stood in her husband's place.

Although she happily convinced me that dad was much better, that he had recovered, and that he was almost like his old self, I didn't believe it too much.

It was a cheap fairy tale, too good to be true, just a trick to buy some of our joy and hope, but I refused to fall for it.

I knew very well where my father was.

He is in a pink box with the brightest sides, buried in thick black earth and overgrown with tall, spiky grass and thorny roses - he rests with blind, crippled Teddy, and there is absolutely nothing in the world that can save him and get him out of there.

Now, he might even be burned under the action of a strong, powerful fire and turned to ash and dust, along with the glittering cardboard and Teddy's blackened, burnt stuffed body.

And that's why no stories about his return could make me believe it.

There was no return from the blackness of the earth in which I buried him.

- I'm going to pick up your father tomorrow.

Danny spoke, as always, calmly, monotonously, and at ease as I sat on his lap with shamelessly bare shoulders covered in brown curls and a half-stripped bra.

I stared into his two tiny, black pupils. Even now, they were quite still and steady, two small, black circles, edged in a deep, cool blue, against my wide-spread black circles edged only by a small brown ring - so close to him, I couldn't control myself.

-So?

I replied a bit cheekily, continuing to sway my neck and flutter my hair in rhythm, right next to his nose.

What was he trying to tell me anyway? It didn't concern me; I didn't want it to concern me.

- You know, Lizzie, you don't always have to pretend you're untouchable.

His voice became slightly strained and cold. There was something reprehensible and alien about him - something opposite to the endless care and affection I was used to, something that made me freeze in place.

I slowly stood up and pulled the straps of my shirt and bra over bare, white shoulders. I could still feel the sweet taste of Danny's spittle in my mouth and his invisible kisses on my warm skin.

Something cold and heavy filled the narrow space between us.

-Good night, Danny.

I spoke, still panting from the dance and the burning heat, his intoxicating closeness, and his body right next to mine.

-Good night, Lizzie.

I climbed the stairs to my room, feeling his gaze unmistakably on my body.

5.

The surface of the lake is completely calm, deep emerald blue and perfectly clean, so that the crystal light of the clear, summer sky shines perfectly on it, like a mirror.

This time there is no music, just his low and deep, slightly raspy voice with a note of new command that draws me to him, and the absolute silence of the lake that leads me across.

Danny decided to take me to my new, final home - the lake house where I would now live with him and Olivia - by a separate route - across the lake. There was some special( to be honest, only he knew what) symbolism in that, and in addition, he also thought that it would be appropriate for us to do another one of our hypno sessions on this occasion.