Page 21 of Teddy Bear

And I had to make that mistake.

In the absence of other and better culprits, I decided that the terrible criminal who caused our lives to crumble must somehow be me.

That night, I made a judgment, silent and steady, final and definitive, a judgment within my mind and heart, blaming myself for the breakdown of my family, home, security, peace, my parents' marriage, and everything around me.

All this happened because I was not obedient and calm enough.

I should have studied more. I should have endured longer. I should have tried harder. I should have been more diligent. I should have been more patient. I should have been more persistent. I should have been more confident. I should have known.

I should have foreseen all this and saved us.

I should have been better; then none of this would have happened.

When they brought me in on a hospital stretcher, under a white, tin ceiling in a cramped space that smelled of disinfection and countless deaths, I lost consciousness. It was the final surrender of my body to the shock and pain that were just too strong.

Then, I would be very happy if I didn't even wake up anymore...

But I woke up, and when I woke up, he was standing next to me, tall and smiling, with the eyes of heaven itself - and I guess it's just a huge dose of the cocktail of drugs and the never-quenched desire for safety screamed so loudly inside my heart that it almost burst out of my chest.

I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if I was on the verge of an easy death - and he was a guardian angel nestled carelessly by my headboard.

When I woke up from unconsciousness, Danny was standing next to the intensive care hospital bed.

✦ 🧸 ✦

After having specialized in neuropsychiatry at the age of thirty, at the most respected university in the country, and after several years of clinical practice, Danny went to Europe to study and further specialize in the field of hypnosis.

When he returned from Europe, it was safe to say that he was one of the most brilliant minds and the most respected and educated psychiatrists in this region.

And it could also be said that this premature return from grandiose and luxurious Europe was not at all easy for him.

It was not easy, since it was caused by a special call - a call from my mother, who begged an old friend to come and help her crumbling family.

Danny was the last straw, the outline of an oasis in an endless desert.

Namely, given that my father did not accept even the mention of a hospital or a doctor, when things went to hell, too far and too strong, with far-reaching consequences that threatened to burn, literally and metaphorically, our family and our lives to the ground, my mother called Danny, my father's inseparable friend from childhood, a man who was like a brother to him for a good part of his life, protected him and in some way led him on his way, in the hope that only he could reach to the hollows and cracks in his mind and heal them with his special knowledge.

My father and Danny grew up together in an orphanage. Since he was a bit older and quite a bit stronger, Danny took my father under his wing, who was then just a lost, scared boy desperate for safety and comfort.

As only children can do innocently and unreservedly, my father attached himself to the bright and stout older boy with brotherly love, and their unbreakable bond followed them throughout their lives.

Even when both became extremely successful and respected people, accomplished and recognized in society, they shared the same unforgettable past, respect, and loyalty that made them especially close.

My father was quite devastated by the news that Danny was going to Europe for residency, but he accepted it with dignity and deep respect - he only wanted the best for him, and absolutely supported his decision to reach the maximum of his knowledge and career - even at the cost of being separated for months, even years.

He grieved a lot for him, although they were in constant contact, but of course, when he got sick, the withdrawal and cutting off contact included all of us, including Danny.

It has been almost ten years since they last heard from each other. Nevertheless, even after all that time, the mother did not hesitate to call him and ask for help - she knew that he would agree unconditionally.

Danny, of course, did not have a magic wand with which he could fix and solve everything in one move, but upon the disturbing news of the complete mental breakdown of his old friend and the destruction of his family, he left the splendid and charming Europe, as well as his unfinished specialization, and boarded the first flight here.

When he came, it was already late, and quite a bit of damage had already been done; the work that was on him was too painful and difficult and not at all easy - now he was like the Sisters of Mercy, forced to sew up mortal wounds and offer some water to the dying.

Now, Danny could only try to help us, but his presence complicated things quite a bit.

Indeed, he made a great effort to acquit my father of the felony charges of arson and attempted murder, on account of his mental insanity, and to place him in a mental institution that would provide him with adequate care.

He braced his back for him, and fought like a lion to save him from the jaws of the law breathing down his neck.