Page 39 of Anchored To You

I pace in the hallway, running my hands through my hair, trying to figure out where Beck could have gone. I replay all the conversations we've had in the past when it finally clicks. The river. Beck always talks about how much he loves going down to the river. He says it's the one place on campus that doesn't feel overcrowded to him and where he can go to sit and think. If I were on my way to tell him how I felt and I saw the sock, I know that's where I would go.

Determined to find him, I rush back down the stairs, my lungs and legs on fire as I run as fast as I can toward the forest. I head in the same direction that we've gone ‌a few times when we've swum together. The forest is dark, only the moon lighting my path, but I know exactly where I'm going. My feet guide me to the river, a large rock off to the side where I can see Beck crouched up, staring off at the water.

"Beck," I gasp once I finally reach him. I'm breathing hard after having run around the campus multiple times, so I'm trying to catch my breath.

Beck stands up quickly, his eyes wide as he stares at me. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," I breathe out once I'm able to speak again. "Fuck, that shit was tiring. How do you run so much for baseball? I couldn't do it. There's no way. This shit was horrible."

Shut up, Talon, and tell him why you're here. He doesn't need to hear about how much you're dying from exercise you so clearly need.

Beck scratches the back of his head, staring at me. "I actually want to talk to you."

"No, I need to talk to you," I rush out, stepping closer to him.

"No, let me go first," he tells me, grabbing my hand. "Before I lose the courage to say this. I've been sitting here for a while, thinking about us."

"Us," I echo, loving the sound of that. Fuck, I hope there's still an us.

"Talon," he scolds, tossing his head back. "Let me get this out."

"Okay, okay," I tell him, squeezing his hand. "Tell me."

"Okay, so I get you're still seeing other people-"

"But," I cut him off, wanting to let him know that there's no one else but him.

"Talonnn," he drags out, getting irritated with me. "Are you serious?"

I mimic zipping my lips, smiling at him. "Sorry."

"As I was saying, I know I'm not the only person you've been hooking up with, but I want to be the only one. I want to be the one person you come to each night, and not as a roommate. I want to cuddle together while we're watching movies, go to this river together and swim together, go out on dates, and just be together. But I don't want anyone else to be there. Just us. I came to tell you this earlier today when I saw the sock on the doorknob. At first, I was upset, thinking that there was no way you would give it up, but as I've been sitting here thinking, I knew I still had to try. Even if you completely shut me down, I had to try. I needed to let you know how I feel. I want to be with you, Talon. Although I don't know what the future holds, I do know that I want to spend every extra second I have with you. When I started this school year, I told myself I wasn't going to fall for everyone, but then we spent time together and I realized I'm falling for you."

He stares at me intently, his words echoing around in my mind. I knew this is exactly what I wanted, but knowing that he feels the same as me has me on cloud nine. Fuck, he's falling for me? I'm falling for him, too. I want the same things that he does. And I want them all with him.

"Talon?" Beck asks, tilting his head, making me realize I've just been staring at him this whole time not saying a word.

"Oops, I meant to say something, but I was too busy swooning from your words," I chuckle, stepping closer and wrapping my arms around his waist. "I want all the same things. With you. Only you. I'm falling for you too, and I don't want there to be anyone else. And there's something I need to be honest about, but I don't want you to be upset."

His eyebrows furrow, confusion etched on his face. "What is it?"

"There has never been anyone else," I tell him honestly, hoping he's able to understand why I lied. "From the very beginning, every time there was a sock on the door, I was in the room studying. Alone. I wanted to be close to you, but I didn't want you to know that. I wanted you to think there were others, so that you wouldn't know you were special to me. Which I know is really fucked up, but at the time it was the only thing I could think of to keep you at arm's length."

"And the sock on the door tonight?"

"It was because so many students kept drunkenly knocking on the door trying to bug me. I thought if I put it there, they would leave me alone. And they did, but I didn't think about what you would think if you saw it."

Beck bursts out laughing, releasing my hand as he bends over to snicker. "I knew you weren't the hookup type. I always thought it was strange that you were hooking up with so many people, but I never caught a glimpse of anyone. And now it makes complete sense."

"You're not mad?" I ask, hoping this isn't a deal breaker for him. Starting off with a lie is not a good way to enter a relationship, and I want to be honest with Beck about everything from here on out.

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly against his body. "No, I'm not mad at all. And I get it. I lied when I said I was okay with not being the only one you were hooking up with. I hated it. But knowing that we were both lying, and basically for the same reason, because we wanted to be with each other, does make it a little easier."

"I'm sorry for lying. But I'm not sorry for why I did it. Especially if us getting together is the result of it."

He kisses my forehead, pulling back to look at me. "So, is that what we're saying? That we're together?"

"Yes," I breathe, swaying into him. "I want to date you, Beck. I want to be yours."