Page 9 of Palingenesis

Letting loose another heavy breath, I climb out of bed in nothing but my comfy shorts and pad barefoot into the kitchen.

It’s on the smaller side, in need of some serious updates, but it’s functional, so I refuse to complain too much. The stack of pastry boxes that earned me a cringe when Henry saw them beckons me like a midnight tempter from the bar, and I almost cave. I don’t, and won’t, thanks to the critical voice in my head that reminds me of carb consumption and body types and sounds suspiciously familiar.

Tapping my ear, I listen to see if I’ve disturbed him but all I hear are the faint sounds of him snoring.

Good.

The thought makes me cringe.

I shouldn’t feel better that the person I share a life with is sound asleep without me, and I definitely shouldn’t be hoping that it stays that way.

Growling in frustration, I scrub my hands down my face and make my way down the hall to my office. His shit is still set up like he’s planning on coming back to it without asking me and the idea of it being here has a sizzle heating beneath my skin.

Would it not be common decency to just ask for once?

Instead of brushing it all to the floor like I want to, I gently close the laptop so I can stack his notepads on top of it and set it aside.

I take my time setting up my dual monitors, making sure the wires are clean and velcroed together behind the desk that leads to the tower and outlet. My keyboard and mouse come next, wireless, thankfully, then a few trinkets that act as fidget toys when I’m trying to think.

Later, when I have more brain power that isn’t fueled by spite and sugar, I’ll fill my bookshelves. I don’t have much physical media but the ones I do have are signed and they’re my most precious possessions.

Leaning back in the chair when my desk is complete, I nod my approval.

Gods, I’m still fucking wired.

For a moment, I consider jerking off just for the hell of it. The idea of breaking in my new office that way seems fun, though that thought dissipates as quickly as it came.

If Henry catches me again …

Shaking off the memory of the consequences from last time, I tip my head back and stare at the way the darkness shifts across the ceiling. Time seems to melt away as the moon crosses the sky and the impending dawn announces its approach. I can see it all shining through the window and playing across the plastered ceiling like a movie.

My thoughts slow, and I let them, as my shoulders receded from their perch near my ears for the first time since I arrived.

The tranquility of a silent moment in a world full of noise beckons me, lulling me into a sense of disassociation instead of rest, where my mind can run free.

Visions of a forest fill my head, the lines of trees and bushes stretching for miles, their branches home to the buzzing of insects and skittering critters. Flowers have taken root this time, blooming a rich burgundy color that appears almost black against the darkness of night. The moonlight dances across their petals, and I find myself drawn to them, moving closer to run my fingertips over their silky leaves and stems. I’m careful not to disturb them too much, even as I pinch the smoothness of nature between my fingertips.

It's soft, velvety to the touch and I lean closer to smell the intense fragrance wafting from the centers.

Don’t—

I jolt back, my elbow slamming into something hard enough to send a shockwave of pain down to my fingers. Groaning, I massage the joint and sit up, dampness clinging to my skin.

My nose fills with the early morning dew, a hint of wet grass and wood tickling my senses and I blink away the groggy fog of sleep.

The surface below my ass is hard and unforgiving and I—

“Oh, shit.”

My front lawn glows in the early-morning light, the soft rays reflecting off the humid air and the dew-slicked grass, leaving me drenched in an ethereal vapor.

There’s always been something magical about first light but this feels … different. Heavier, almost, as I stretch my legs out across the wooden steps that leads down to the cracked pathway. My truck is still where I left it, the branches from the large tree stretching over it in an attempt to shield it from the rising sun.

I should install a carport. Or maybe a garage.

Though of all the things to think about, vehicle storage should be last on my list.

First should be why the hell I ended up outside, asleep on my porch, and how do I not recall moving so far?